1. We never lose our comic side when we are losing heavily.
It all too easy to leave the stadium when you’re getting drummed 4-0 by a better team, but it takes real comedic talent to turn the experience into a great day out. You either chant that you’re now going to win 5-4 or take it to the next level and actually celebrate an imaginary goal:
2. Our only valid criteria for judging foreign players is our weather conditions.
‘Yes, he’s good. But could he do it on a cold and windy Tuesday night in Stoke?’