1. You use septante and nonante without hesitation, instead of the very complicated French 70 (‘sixty and ten’) and 90 (‘four times twenty and ten’).
2. You now consider yourself a beer connoisseur, and it’s pretty amazing.
3. The abbey (which is the brewery) is the first place you check out in every town/village you visit.
4. You know how to say ‘hello’ and ‘thank you’ in French and Flemish.
5. You have a car with excellent suspension to compensate for the massive holes in every road.
6. When you’re at a bar outside of Belgium and they only offer one beer on tap, you ask yourself: “Where the hell are the other 15 kinds?”
7. You now notice when the bartender gives you a lager instead of the white beer you’ve ordered.
8. You don’t like driving more than two hours to get anywhere.
9. You’ve become picky when it comes to fries.
10. You’ve given up trying to go shopping after 6pm because most shops are closed.
11. You no longer think the Swiss have the best chocolate.
12. You don’t like looking at your paycheck; it reminds you of how much taxes you’re paying.
13. You have a Bancontact card — it’s a debit card only accepted in Belgium, but not everywhere in Belgium. In some places, however, it’s the only payment method they accept. You don’t get it either.
14. You think it’s weird when films are not subtitled in two languages.
15. You have to know the translations of Belgium’s cities in French and Flemish (Bruxelles/Brussels, Lille/Rijsel, Anvers/Antwerp, Mons/Bergen) in order to get anywhere.