1. You wake up one morning with breasts a full cup size larger.

Changes in your boobs might be the first sign you’re pregnant.

2. You are E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D.

Your 10-minute afternoon break turns into an accidental 45-minute nap in the backseat of your car. You haven’t been able to stay awake through a 90-minute movie in weeks.

3. You’re drooling.

Midday your mouth fills with pools of saliva. Be careful, don’t let drool drip down your chin. You already started your day with a puddle of it on your pillow. Pregnancy hormones make you a drooler and doctors don’t know why.

4. Your short term memory is completely shot.

You forget your lunch on the counter at home, realizing it on the drive to work. By the time lunch rolls around, you frantically scour the employee fridge for the food you’re sure you brought in today. Don’t even try to learn any new information while pregnant — you can’t even remember your own address.

5. You’re so hungry you could eat a horse.

Your voracious appetite won’t let you go without food for more than 45 minutes. Embrace it.

6. The nesting instinct is taking over your life.

Despite having the energy of a tranquilized elephant, you insist on sanitizing the kitchen counter, vacuuming the floor, and windexing the bathroom mirror, all before going to bed.

7. You eat a half a cantaloupe in a sitting, twice a day.

Although you haven’t enjoyed the taste of cantaloupe since you were a six-year-old, you’re now sure to pick one up every time you grocery shop. Nothing feels so good as satisfying an esoteric craving during pregnancy.

8. You aren’t feeling so “regular.”

Another item you’re sure not to forget at the grocery store — prunes. Yep, being “regular” has become as much a concern to you as it is to your great aunt Ida. This is one of those symptoms they forget to mention during television pregnancies.

9. You can’t walk up a set of six steps without getting winded.

Forget about normal lung capacity, your growing embryo needs lots of oxygen. You’ll be huffing and puffing for the next nine months.

10. You cry at the drop of a hat.

Slightly emotional movies, television shows, and even commercials make you weep. Blame those pregnancy hormones.

11. You’ve never drunk so much water.

Pregnant women feel thirsty all day long.

12. Your belly itches.

As your skin stretches to accommodate the baby, you’ll be twitching and scratching all day and night.

13. Your dreams are more psychedelic than an acid trip.

Dreaming while pregnant takes you places you never knew your mind was capable of. You’ll dream more than usual, and those dreams will be extremely vivid. Enjoy these nightly journeys, since the baby will keep you close to home for quite a while!