1. Making fun of Newfies
2. Rolling up the Rim!
Debate the virtues of Timmy Ho’s coffee all you want, but you can’t spend much time in the Great White North without finding yourself in their parking lots, perfecting the art of desecrating your coffee cup while it’s still full of hot liquid.
3. Our “seasons”
We have four: almost winter, winter, still winter, and roadwork.
Not that I’m endorsing mixing cheap whiskey with even cheaper plastic sleds and hurling yourself over a snow-covered hill in the middle of the night … but if your new Canadian friends convince you to join them in this escapade, just make sure you raid their parents’ basements for a head-to-toe snowsuit ahead of time.
There is not a Canuck girl alive who does not swoon at least a little at the sight of a guy in a toque. It’s on par with snow days from work/school as the best part of winter.
6. Kraft Dinner
With hotdogs and ketchup. It’s practically a food group. This was my lunch every day in grade 3. And grade 4. And grade 5…
Spot the traveling Canadian by the person who hangs onto an empty plastic bottle for miles as they wander around a new city waiting to run into a big blue bin.
8. Canadian Tire Money
While the Americans make fun of our “monopoly money” (and we’re too polite to tell them the Canadian mint makes currency for over 60 countries, including the US), we hope they never discover our addiction to actually fake money in the form of Canadian Tire Dollars. Once you start finding the brightly colored pseudo-currency in your kitchen drawers and under your car seat, you’ve truly joined the ranks of the Canucks.
I have been known to smuggle Clamato juice over the border just so I can have a proper cocktail with my brunch.
10. Nanaimo bars
Leave it to Canadians to create a baked good that doesn’t need any baking. Hands down the best part of Home Ec.
11. Reader’s Digest
Everyone knows somebody whose jokes/tweets made it into an issue once.
Watching your foreign friends taste it for the first time is practically a national pastime.
13. Saying “eh”
It’s a bit more polite than saying “huh” all the time, eh? And much more versatile.
14. Leaving your door unlocked
Seven years in New York City has knocked this habit out of me, and my friends back home are sure it’s a sign that I’ve grown hardened and cynical (they ain’t wrong).
15. Maple syrup
Smother it even one time over your Canadian bacon and there’s really no turning back.
16. (and of course) Poutine
Sure, they’re a heart attack waiting to happen. But trust me, one bite will inevitably lead you to licking the porcelain plate in no time flat.