1. You know that being called a cock isn’t an insult.
In fact, it’s a term of affection your Grumps has been calling you since you were six.
2. Emmets & grockles are a real thing.
And you have an unlimited amount of hatred for them.
3. Shorts are acceptable clothing all year round.
Even when it’s horrible and mizzling outside, your legs are bare for all to see.
4. If you’re unfortunate enough to be working, lunch is a pasty.
And you know where to find the best pasty in the land. Unlike this guy. Ain’t no Greggs here, my love.
5. You know at least one farmer.
Scrap that, you’ve been to at least one Young Farmer’s party and only just lived to tell the tale.
6. You are a cider connoisseur.
And know that your favourite local brew is the best. We don’t want your Magners.
7. A beach day is acceptable any time of year.
Whether the weather be good or whether the weather be bad, it’s always a good day to go for a stroll on the sand at Whitsand, Portreath, or Teignmouth. In fact, you prefer going to the beach in October when all the tourists have gone home.
8. You always know where the nearest beach is.
Or riverside, woodland, hill or cliff. Just so you can escape your daily duties and get some fresh air if needed.
9. You have an opinion on how a cream tea should be made.
It’s jam before the cream.
10. Accents. You have one.
You have one of the many south west accents, but everyone from up north thinks we all sound the same when they impersonate us.
11. You hate the southeast.
And begrudge any time you have to go to London and the rat race. The southwest is so calm and laid back it may as well be snoozing the days away in comparison — just how you like it.
12. You have a serious opinion on second-home buyers.
And they can all go back to the southeast.
13. You know where the best beer gardens are.
And which ones to be in at any time of day to chase the sun from breakfast through to sun down.
14. Sunsets never get old.
You have so many photos of the same beach/hill/river at sunset that you have an entire photo album dedicated to them.
15. You tell the time by the tides.
So you know the best time to go surfing, diving, SUP, beaching and can make your excuses at work/social engagements/family commitments accordingly.
16. You can nav small country roads better than the late Colin McRae.
Because how else are you going to get to work on time during the summer months?
17. You’ve bonded over Dartmoor.
Whether with your school friends or those living in yonder southwestern lands, Dartmoor has hardened the souls of the majority of SW inhabitants by battering us with stinging rain and scratching winds. It’s also really damn beautiful and the only place you can legally wild camp in England.
18. You have a very strong opinion about what actually counts as the SW.
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