Photo: TORWAISTUDIO/Shutterstock

8 Abilities Alabamians Have Over Everyone Else

by Anna Irving Feb 20, 2017

1. Being really good at college football.

No, really. We’re really good at college football. Ask one of our combined 18 national championship titles. #rolltide

2. Respecting small and local.

We know our farmers, our butchers, and our mechanics, and we exploit our own talents in any way imaginable. Everyone’s got a small business, and we all support each other. Pretty much anything against the establishment is a-okay with us!

3. Making A+ iron and steel.

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We’re the only state that naturally produces its key ingredients (iron ore, dolomite, limestone, and coal), so it’s kind of a big deal here. In our largest city, Birmingham, you can definitely see the influence of the iron industry. In fact, Birmingham’s many nicknames include ‘Steel City’ and ‘Iron City,’ and several landmarks are placed around town to remind you in case you forget. We’re looking at you, Sloss and Vulcan!

4. Appreciating fast vehicles.

Alabama is home to Barber Motorsports Park and Museum, The Alabama International Dragway, and Talladega Superspeedway, which is an event in its own. We don’t care who’s racing, we’ll bring our coolers and watch regardless.

5. Sacrificing our health for happiness.

Guys, life is too short. Everyone will die someday, so today, I’m going to enjoy these three racks of ribs, pulled pork, and gallon of sweet tea. Where’s my banana pudding?

6. Space exploration.

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Alabama is home to the George C. Marshall Space Flight Center, which is one of ten NASA space centers across the country. That’s cool, but what’s even cooler is that this center is directly responsible for not only Freedom 7, which put the first American into orbit, but also for Apollo 11, which put the first man on the moon.

7. Getting genuinely excited about the prospect of snow.

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I hope you northerners appreciate what you have. If it snows down here, and that’s a big IF, it will only be about an inch, once a year. Around noon, it will get above freezing, and then we’ll be back to square one. Our winter coats and snow boots are more for fashion than function.

8. Barbecue sauce.

Yea, I said it. Tennessee, you win at dry rub, but we win at barbecue sauce!

Featured image: Auburn Alumni Association

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