1. The exercise crammer
Their mat is in your way, it’s in everyone’s way actually, and they totally left their yoga block and mat bag in the middle of the room. This is probably the person who was also using the pair of five-pound dumbbells that’s sitting in the back corner of the room and most definitely the person who’s going to “Omg-excuse-me-so-sorry-to-interrupt” their way to their spot 15 minutes after the class has started.
Did they forget that they can actually work out any day of the week, and that they didn’t have to cram in a week’s worth of exercise in one day? I mean, do your thing, noone can tell you that exercise is bad for you, but just remember to be respectful to the shared space you’re in and the people sharing that space with you. The gym is not your home.
2. The flowy-haired Simba
I have long, curly hair and it’s challenging for me to function while doing any sort of exercise if it’s all up in my face. I also know that if I were in yoga class with my hair down, I’d probably whack someone in the face while going from mountain pose to plank.
Take note: If we’re in a yoga class together and you have long hair, but you forgot your hair tie, please ask me for an extra one (I always have one around my wrist). Your hair is beautiful but I’d prefer if it a) doesn’t get in my eye and b) doesn’t choke me.
3. The mouth breather
If you’re breathing out of your mouth (which you’re not supposed to do in yoga) and sound like you’re about to pass out, maybe you need to sit back in child’s pose and calm yourself down. You sound like you’re about to have a panic attack and yoga is supposed to lower your chances of having those.
Maybe go see your doctor? Ask the instructor for a modification? Also, just close your mouth. We love you and love that you’ve joined us in practice, but we’d rather not get your germs.
4. The farter
There’s really nothing I can do about this one. People fart. Whether they choose to fart in their own home or in a yoga class with me is totally up to them. Yoga is supposed to improve digestion. I just can’t help but feel disgusting when I’m in full wheel and relax my neck towards the mat and get this whiff of the human version of cow manure slowly blowing up my nostrils.
5. The mat mover
If I’ve put my mat in a spot that’s far enough to the side of the yoga studio and have ensured that I’ve packed all my belongings away in a locker, I expect that, when I get up to pee before the yoga class begins, my mat will be in the same place when I return. If I get back and my mat is a) crooked, b) pushed even closer to the wall, or c) no longer flat against the floor, I’m going to assume any new faces in the room are responsible for moving my mat for their own convenience(s).
I get it, it’s annoying when people save spots in inconvenient locations, as I’ve mentioned above, but couldn’t you have just waited and asked me to move my mat a little over to the left? War is now on and I’ll do everything in my power to chaturanga lower than you can, even though yoga isn’t supposed to be judgmental.
6. The bum toucher
There’s this one woman in the yoga class I go to, and almost every week she asks me to move my mat so she can squeeze in the front row. So I move my mat over, because there’s no point in starting drama. Then she sets up her mat while I’m chilling in savasana waiting for the class to begin, and her rear end is actually in my face.
I take a deep breath and politely say, “Excuse me?” There’s often no response. And then, when we’re halfway through the class, her butt likes to dust the top of my hair bun as we’re stretching out our hamstrings in a standing straddle forward bend. Can your bum please not touch my bun? It’s gross.
7. The mat-less superstar
If I ever did yoga without my mat, the studio floor would turn into a Slip ‘n Slide. There are, however, some people who prefer to do yoga with no mat, and that’s all good. However, when these mat-less peeps come into a class and get frustrated because there’s no room for them on the floor, I cringe. Did you come in early to claim your floorspace? Did you even wipe down the area on the floor you’re about to get real up close and personal with? Your face is going to touch the floor several times, you know.
8. The showoff
My yoga prep involves hydrating and nourishing my body, brushing my teeth, putting my hair up, and putting on clothes. Some people arrive to class and seem to have either forgotten to wash their faces from the night before or have woken up extra early to coat their faces in eight pounds of bronzer. The best (read: the worst) is when someone comes in and their hair was clearly in hot rollers less than half-an-hour before. I also adore (read: despise) the people who come in with lipgloss. Darling, your lips look fabulous and I’m sure your sweaty mat appreciates that you chose something a little shinier than an everyday finish.
This post originally appeared on Listicle and is republished here with permission.