1- Cé leis thú? | Who do you belong to?

When you meet an Irish person, their primary concerns tend to rest more with where you came from and who your Granny is than about finding out about your own interests. We need to know if you are of good stock before we could possibly entertain a light conversation with you. The chitchat is then generally preceded with a lengthy discussion on your great-aunt’s neighbours, cousins you never knew you had, and the local shop that your mam used to live near.

2- marbh le tae marbh gan é | Dead with tea, dead without it

The Irish have a pretty serious addiction to tea. In fact, I could easily down 8 cups in a day. The above phrase equates to saying ‘Tea: can’t live with it, can’t live without it’. You won’t last long in an Irish house without the teapot being produced. Which brings me on to the next important phrase…

3- Fliuch an tae | Wet the tea

In Ireland, we ‘wet the tea’. ‘Fliuch an tae, le do thoil’ may sound strange to the unaccustomed ear (tea IS wet), but to us, this is an everyday request from our parents to make it. We are very picky about our favourite drink, it has to be drawn for the right amount of time (an tae a tharraingt) and we do not, for the most part, like weak tea (anglais tae). Now before I have to change the title of this article to ‘How to make a proper cup of tea’ I must move on…

4- Le cúnamh Dé | With the help of God

While many Irish are not as holy as we once were, we seem to still depend quite a lot on God. Most things in life, the weather, openings, the lotto, etc. are left to God to sort out for us. We can be pretty blasphemous too and we struggle to utter a sentence without referring to ‘Dia’ or ‘Iosa Chríost’.

5- Chuirfeadh sé dubh ina bhán ort | He’d convince you black was white

The Irish are particularly gifted when it comes to blaggarding people. When I lived in America, some of my Irish friends managed to convince some locals that there were only six days in a week in Ireland, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and that we simply have more hours in each day so there is the same amount of hours over the week. No harm is ever meant, it’s all in the name of ‘craic’ (fun), but be very wary of believing the Irish.

6- Peata ceart a dhéanamh de dhuine! | Make a right pet of someone

One of the biggest insults an older Irish person can give is to say that someone has spoiled their child. We are strong believers in providing our children with enough hardship so that they grow up never expecting too much in life or being demanding. Many of the older generations think our children need more of the wooden spoon and fewer i-Pads.

7- Is fearrde an Guinness thú | You are the better for Guinness

We genuinely believe that Guinness has magical health benefits and that no matter what the ailment is (hunger, shock, flu) the best cure is some alcohol. Coming down with the flu? No doctor for me, I’ll just have a hot whiskey. The Irish for ‘whiskey’, ‘uisce beatha’ translates as ‘water of life’, which says a lot about our attitude to the drink. For some, it is our elixir, but there’s no doubt that it comes second to tea!

8- Deoch an dorais | Drink of the door

Leaving places — pubs, neighbours’ houses, cafés — is a fifteen-minute ordeal. By the time you start indicating that you are ready to leave, get up, and head for the door, you run into your cousin’s girlfriend’s brother, sit down for a chat with him, and have one more pint so as not to be rude. If you need to be somewhere else you’d better plan your departure well in advance.