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How to Become Even More Texan in 10 Easy Steps

by Turner Wright Feb 17, 2017

1. Look the part.

Embrace the stereotype and throw on a cowboy hat, boots, and bolo tie. If you’re feeling ambitious, you can even don a holster and spurs. Not many Texans go around wearing this on a daily basis, but we do have quite a few shirts and hats with the Texas flag on them.

2. Ignore Mexican food anywhere else.

Bowling for Soup said it best – “The Mexican food sucks north of here anyway”- and it’s true: no place in the US outside of California and possibly NYC can compete with the tacos and burritos of the Lone Star State. If you think you’ve had good Mexican food in South Dakota, I’d love to see your reaction once you sample the real thing.

3. Leave the sauce off your BBQ.

So powerful and so succulent is Texas BBQ that it rarely requires the spicy sauce North Carolina and Kansas City residents seem to have difficulty eating without. Our brisket stands alone in taste and tenderness.

4. Come up with a tall tale.

Texas history is full of tall tales, from Davy Crockett boasting about his adventures wrestling bears as he was trapped in the Alamo to modern day less than believable stories like “I once made it from Austin to Dallas in two hours driving.” It’s true. Ask anyone.

5. Refer to the US as a different country.

Just like Alaskan residents reference the Lower 48, true Texans see everything and everyone outside our borders as members of a foreign country. I hear there’s a place up north called Chicag where the rain, wind, and snow is neverending, but that must be a fairy tale.

6. Take a hike.

Don’t worry, you don’t have to leave the state. Texas is open country, with national parks like Big Bend and rivers, marches, and canyons all around us.

7. Turn to the skies.

It’s not just the stars at night that are big and bright. Texas also has some truly remarkable places to watch the sun set well into late evening, burning the sky along a perfectly flat horizon.

8. Walk through one of our city centers.

Texans may be infamous for refusing to travel anywhere without a car (really, who heard of bikes and walking anyway?) but on occasion we’ll forego the convenience and check out what our urban centers have to offer. From the San Antonio Riverwalk to Congress Avenue in Austin, there’s always a place good for pedestrians somewhere in a Texas city.

9. Put your money where your state is.

The Department of Motor Vehicles wanted to test just how proud we were of our home state by offering license plates with “ALAMO” to one rich and lucky Texan.

10. Have some time on a horse.

We’re not using these animals to ride full gallop commuting to work, but most Texans have at least some experience with horses: seeing them in a rodeo or riding them at summer camp.

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