1. Many of your walks of shame have been down gravel roads.
2. Your by-the-bed vomit vessel is an oil pan.
3. You’ve gotten drunk at Three Tides and accidentally eaten eight eggs.
4. If it’s some obscure holiday that really doesn’t matter in Maine, you’re at Boru’s. Kentucky Derby, St. Patrick’s Day, Fat Tuesday…
5. You’ve beat the entire staff of McKay’s at dice after hours.