If you’ve ever met a Texan, you probably already wish they’d stop talking about Texas. If you haven’t met a Texan, here are just a few of things that we’re truly snobs about.
1. Cowboy boots
There’s no requirement that you must wear cowboys in Texas, and in fact, if you don’t have a real pair of cowboy boots, just don’t wear them at all. If your cousin from Rhode Island offers you to borrow her pair she picked up in Nashville for your next trip to Austin, just say no and you’ll be doing yourself a favor. If you do say yes, don’t be shocked when someone calls you out on the street for trying too hard.
2. Tex-Mex food
Look, it’s got “Tex” in the name so we’re definitely allowed to be snobs about this one. Tex-Mex is more than a type of food in the Lone Star state — it’s a way of life. If you live in Texas and don’t have some form of Tex-Mex at least three times a week then you’re not a real Texan. And if you think that Taco Bell is real Mexican food, you’re in luck, because Texas borders four other states where it might be okay to think that.
3. Texas country music
You can all have Nashville and we’ll keep the red dirt stuff they’re pumping out here. From the Texas Panhandle to the Coastal Bend, our country acts are just a little more raw and a little more real. Not saying we hate the other stuff, but we’d rather have Bri Bagwell than Carrie Underwood on repeat any day.
4. High school football
Sure, high school football is important to a ton of people in a ton of places, but what other states can claim an entire drama series about it — hello Friday Night Lights — plus multiple football stadiums that cost over $50 million dollars to build. And we haven’t even started about talking about the insane homecoming traditions that all Texans subscribe to.
In Texas, brisket is better, and I’m not joking when I say I seriously love brisket so much I named my dog that — and she’s proud of her name too. From jalapeno-cheese sausage to a pulled pork sandwich and potato salad to banana pudding, it’s seriously just better here. Texans respect BBQ, and when we visit Kansas City and Memphis, we’re down to try to try it, but we’d still rather wait in line for days at Franklin Barbecue when truth comes to shove.
There is no problem that a honey butter chicken biscuit can’t fix. There is no hangover that Whataburger’s spicy ketchup can’t cure. And there is no fast food bromance that is truer or deeper than the one between Texas and Whataburger. And while some people may claim that In-N-Out might be starting to stake some claim in the state, In-N-Out has never been a shoulder for Texas Tech students to cry on after another lost game and too much tequila.
7. Dr Pepper
Most Texans, when ordering a Coke, will actually ask for a Dr Pepper. Why? Because Dr Pepper is better than Coke and that’s just the way we do things. Though we don’t officially know the 23 flavors that make up Dr Pepper, we’re dedicated to them, and will let you know exactly how we feel about them anytime were within two hundred feet of a soda fountain.
When a Texan visits outside of the state they constantly judge the heck out of other people’s manners, because growing up here, our parents drilled them into our heads like nobody’s business: Yes, Sir. Yes, Ma’am. No, Sir. No, Ma’am. Please. Thank you. We’ll hold the door for six hours before realizing we haven’t entered the building yet, and then we’ll go home and tell everyone how we were just raised different.
Buc-ee is a beaver — not just any beaver, but the mascot of a chain of convenience stores that truly put Texas in perspective. Think of it more of a Wal-Mart sized emporium selling Texas-centric products like kolaches, barbecue, beef jerky, koozies, hot sauce, and beaver bedazzled t-shirts. In the other 49 states, no other gas station can or will compare, and if you try to bring up Sheetz or Wawa, you’re just asking for trouble.
10. Texas itself
There aren’t many other states as consumed with itself as Texas, but there are really not many other states that are diverse culturally and geographically as Texas, either. From Palo Duro Canyon up near the top to the sandy beaches of South Padre island, you can really get the best of both worlds. And with major cities like Houston, San Antonio, and Dallas, you’ll find people from every corner of the world who truly make the Lone Star state one of the best in the country.