They think the sunset is the best part of the day. They only eat food if it’s insanely spicy. They think you’re silly for arguing whether In n’ Out or Whataburger is better because they know the answer is it neither of them. They won’t hesitate to laugh at you when you mess up, but will always have your back when the going gets tough. And they’re the best kind of friend because they’re from New Mexico. Here are 24 differences between a normal friend and a New Mexican friend.
A normal friend will only have sriracha hot sauce in their fridge.
A New Mexican friend will have about a dozen half-empty bottles of Cholula, Tapatio, Valentina, salsa verde, and a jar of their family recipe.
A normal friend will say that the spring blooms of chamisa and juniper are pretty.
A New Mexican friend won’t say anything because they’ll be hiding inside trying to avoid the pollen.
A normal friend thinks sunsets are pretty but doesn’t really give them much thought.
A New Mexican friend will drag you outside practically every evening because you need to see each and every sunset because each is unique and you need to appreciate them, gosh darn it!
A normal friend will eat meals with a regular amount of chile on the side.
A New Mexican friend will order their meal drenched drowning in chile.
A normal friend will mean the annual holiday when they say Christmas.
A New Mexican friend will mean a way of ordering their enchiladas.
A normal friend will think that a burrito can only be eaten for lunch or dinner.
A New Mexican friend knows that a burrito can be eaten for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
A normal friend will want to go to Chipotle or Taco Bell when they want Mexican food.
A New Mexican friend will declare that heresy and refuse to talk to you until you repent.
A normal friend doesn’t hesitate to wash their car when it’s dirty.
A New Mexican friend will wait months to wash their car because once they do it will inevitably rain ten minutes later.
A normal friend will think Cinnabon has the best cinnamon rolls.
A New Mexican friend will know that it’s Frontier, hands down.
A normal friend will get excited about late August because it means fall is starting.
A New Mexican friend will get excited because that means it’s green chile roasting season.
A normal friend has a grassy lawn.
A New Mexican friend either has Astroturf or artfully landscaped stone areas with desert shrubs and cacti because the state is in an eternal drought and there are water restrictions.
A normal friend’s idea of a fun night out is going to the bar.
A New Mexican friend’s idea of a fun night out is getting a bunch of Santa Fe Pale Ales, driving out into the desert or the mountains, making a campfire, and staring at the sky while imagining that every sound you hear is the Chupacabra or La Llorona.
A normal friend will lay in bed all day Saturday to get over their hangover.
A New Mexican friend will be out of bed at 9 am to go to their favorite greasy spoon for huevos rancheros and will be feeling normal by noon.
A normal friend will drink tequila when they want to go crazy.
A New Mexican friend will drink 4 Loko.
A normal friend will think of the coast and the ocean when someone says “the beach.”
A New Mexican friend will think of the greatest waterpark ever (RIP).
A normal friend will offer you advice and comfort when you make a mistake.
A New Mexican friend will laugh at you first and then comfort you so much you’ll forget why you were upset in the first place.
A normal friend will treat several inches of snow like it’s no big deal.
A New Mexican friend will either refuse to leave the house because their car can’t handle it or they’ve already headed to the nearest ski hill.
A normal friend gets excited about regular holidays like the Fourth of July.
A New Mexican friend absolutely loses their mind over Fiestas de Santa Fe (que viva!)
A normal friend will want to go to Burning Man.
A New Mexican friend will want to go to Zozobra.
A normal friend will have staples like turkey and stuffing at Thanksgiving.
A New Mexican friend will have turkey tamales, stuffed with green chile, calabacitas, and heaps of chile.
A normal friend will track the concert tours of their favorite musicians.
A New Mexican friend won’t bother because they always go Arizona-Colorado-Texas and never stop in NM.
A normal friend will have taken a side in the great Whataburger Vs. In-N-Out war.
A New Mexican friend will be solidly in the Blake’s Lotaburger camp.
A normal friend is still obsessed with Breaking Bad.
A New Mexican friend is over it.
A normal friend will want to get a generic tattoo, like a butterfly or a flower.
A New Mexican friend will get a Zia symbol.
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