6 Things a Texan Mother Would Never Say

3. “I don’t have much of an accent.”

The angrier you make a Texas mother, the more her accent will come out. Have you ever tried to defend not doing your homework to someone who sounds like Matthew McConaughey’s sister on steroids?

4. “I don’t talk to strangers.”

If you have a Texas mother who didn’t engage in small talk at the most random times – with open windows at a stop light, checking out at the supermarket, during a movie premiere – then consider yourself a member of the 1%. All Texans have an innate ability to converse with complete strangers; Texas mothers doubly so.

5. “I’m the best mother in Texas.”

No one can make that claim anymore since Beyonce announced her twins.

6. “We’re not going anywhere this year.”

Not buying it. Whether it’s a long weekend, vacation, or just an excuse to play hooky from work or school, Texas mothers know the best places in the state to entertain their kids at any time of year: Schlitterbahn water park; road trips; the state fair; Scarborough Fair, even a six-hour drive just to see your third cousins.