We love a good joke here in Philadelphia. When you catch us laughing, keep in mind that we’re probably not laughing with you, but laughing at you, likely for one of these eight things that only people from Philly find funny and that out-of-towners never get.
1. Watching tourists run up the steps of the Art Museum in the middle of summer
Rocky did it and the ‘gram loves a good reenactment. But in 102-degree weather, it’s just plain ridiculous. Get yourself out of the sun and to a water ice stand like the rest of the decent folk around here.
2. People talking about how much they love Philly hip-hop and then asking where Beanie Sigel is from
Philly has produced some of the world’s best rap artists, and yet, somehow, people never seem to know that Philly rappers are from here until we proudly tell them. It’s okay to like rappers and not know where they’re from, but then maybe don’t act like a know-it-all. We will call you out on it…after having a good laugh, of course.
3. The view from the sidewalk of someone biking down a cobblestone street
The same goes for skateboards and segways. Trying to navigate a small vehicle down an uneven surface is no easy task, but by all means, keep giving it a go. It’s ideal for our viewing pleasure.
4. Listening to a first-timer order a cheesesteak
It’s a painful yet entertaining experience to watch someone try to navigate through a cheesesteak order who’s never before had the pleasure. If it’s your first time, order one “wiz wit,” and watch, as if by magic, the fine fellow behind the counter produces a steak layered in cheez whiz and onions. Or, just keep trying to describe it to them and see how long it takes.
5. Our reputation for being rude, self-absorbed, drunks
We’re not going to argue whether or not this is true — we’ve got nothing to prove, we know who we are. Still, it’s always a good laugh to really get into it with someone who has been personally offended by members of our Philadelphia community.
6. The “dogs come first” way of life
Try to tell a Philly dog owner where they can and cannot take their pups and you’re in for a real treat. There is no greater threat to a Philadelphian than those who try to limit their dog’s freedom. Lucky you if you happen to be perched at a sidewalk table in full view of a pet-related argument while it is happening.
7. People feeling weird about saying that they’re going to the gayborhood
They’re not sure if they’re being offensive or if it is just another cheap Philly trick to try to get you to look like a jerk. Fair, one never can tell, but in this case, there’s no need to whisper that you’re looking for a good place to eat in the gayborhood. That’s what it’s actually called. In fact, it’s rude that you’re being weird about it.