My Australian boyfriend just visited me in America for the first time. Here’s what he had to say about the experience:

1. “This is the biggest car I’ve ever been in! Why would you need that in the city?”

Said when an Uber driver picked us up in a Chevy Avalanche…

2. “Your grocery stores are amazing! There’s so much stuff!”

After returning from Kroger with Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, Cosmic Brownies, and Double Chocolate Chip Tollhouse Cookies.

3. “What are those chocolate flower looking things in the orange wrapper? They’re the best thing I’ve had in my entire life… they’re like crack!”

Referring to Reese’s. Of course.

4. “Why are all your beers so sweet? I just want a normal beer.”

5. “Your winter isn’t even that cold, it’s just like ours.”

After experiencing Denver in October with 65 degree weather…just wait. Come back in February.

6. “Why are there leaves everywhere? Do you have to pick them up?”

7. “Squirrels are so neat. I have so many videos of them on my phone from walking around earlier.”

8. (While going to an NHL game) “Holy shit, look at all the security! This is insane! Why do you have to go through metal detectors just for a hockey game??”

9. “Why are there always ways for people to pay to get ahead of each other in America? Like express lanes on the highway, fast passes to amusement parks…it’s so odd. Just wait your turn.”

10. “I don’t understand why everyone is so obsessed with Mexican food here.”

BECAUSE IT’S THE BEST. BYE.