Disclaimer: These tactics will only work if you’re not Portuguese. If you are, we’ll gladly engage you in a spirited conversation on how our politicians are robbing us, how our youth can’t find jobs, and how our TV programming sucks.
Insult our heritage.
You might not know this, but we once ruled the world. About 500 years ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Portugal and Spain signed a treaty that divided the world in two: The Spaniards ventured out into the Atlantic Ocean, circumnavigated the world, and discovered America; the Portuguese…gave the world Brazilian waxing.
Say that to a Portuguese person and you’ll get an irate rant on the importance of Portugal in the discovery of the New World, the way we found Brazil (by accident, shh) and the maritime passage to India (our initial goal), the riches we amassed, blah blah blah.