What It’s Like When an American Visits Australia for the First Time

When you hear people talk in Sydney

When you hear people talk anywhere else in Australia

When you find out you don’t have to tip or pay tax on meals

But then you order your first drink in Sydney and find out it’s $22

But then you find out most restaurants let you bring your own alcohol

When you try to understand the rules of cricket

What you end up realizing about cricket

And eventually how you watch cricket

When you try to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit

When someone tells you how good vegemite is

When you have your first Tooheys beer

When you hear a girl say she can’t find her thong

If you suggest Heath Ledger wasn’t that great of an actor

When you get asked if everyone in the US owns a gun

When you get called a c**t and no one gets offended

How you start greeting people after the first week

When you successfully drive on the left side of the road

The first time you see a 5-inch spider

Every time after that

And on the flight back home