What It’s Like When an American Visits Australia for the First Time
When you hear people talk in Sydney
When you hear people talk anywhere else in Australia
When you find out you don’t have to tip or pay tax on meals
But then you order your first drink in Sydney and find out it’s $22
But then you find out most restaurants let you bring your own alcohol
When you try to understand the rules of cricket
What you end up realizing about cricket
And eventually how you watch cricket
When you try to convert Celsius to Fahrenheit
When someone tells you how good vegemite is
When you have your first Tooheys beer
When you hear a girl say she can’t find her thong
If you suggest Heath Ledger wasn’t that great of an actor
When you get asked if everyone in the US owns a gun
When you get called a c**t and no one gets offended
How you start greeting people after the first week
When you successfully drive on the left side of the road
The first time you see a 5-inch spider
Every time after that
And on the flight back home
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