Photo: RossHelen/Shutterstock

10 Friends You Lose When You Start Traveling

by Alyssa Ramos Oct 29, 2015

1. The type that genuinely does not give AF

Have you ever had a conversation with someone where you’re telling them something super exciting that happened to you, and their response is a fake smile and change of subject? I have, a lot, and it’s awkward and annoying AF.

I can understand if some people are genuinely just not interested in traveling, and I’m ok with that, we can talk about cheese and unicorns for all I care. But when your “good friend” has no idea what the hell you even do for a living, it’s time to wake up and realize that 0 shits are given.

The more I travel, the more people I meet who are genuinely interested in my life, and in turn, that makes me realize that certain people genuinely are not.

2. The type that only wants to talk about themselves

Although there’s a good chance I’ve just returned from scaling a mountain or hiking through the jungle to a hidden rainforest, the chance that I’ll just start telling someone about it without them asking is pretty slim. That’s because traveling has taught me to be a listener, and to learn about other people before I go just bombarding them with stories about my life.

That may seem a little contradictory since if I’m listening, obviously the other person is talking, but the type of friend I’m talking about here is the one who is literally just talking at you about themselves instead of having a conversation with you.

3. The type that only knows how to gossip

I’ve read enough negative comments, emails, and articles about myself to know how shitty it feels to be gossiped about. I also give 0 shits because I think my traveling life is awesome, and I know that people who have nothing better to do than say negative things about other people usually have underlying issues, or nothing eventful in their own lives to talk about.

Personally, I just don’t really want to hear about how “F*cked up it is that Kelly went out and raged all night then came home to find Billy in bed with a guy.” That’s none of my business, nor do I want it to be, and I think it’s weird that you (and by ‘you’ I mean ‘gossiping friend’) find excitement in blabbing about other people’s problems.

Traveling has expanded my mind to the size of a freaking hot air balloon, and has made me grasp the concept that negativity sucks, and that people who only know how to constantly talk badly about other people are not the type of people I want to be around.

4. The bragging and jealous type

Despite how many times I ask NOT to be included in a group text, I have one “friend” who will always still add me in so that I’m forced to read about the “epic party” she’s invited to, or the “insane night” she had. This person also knows that I don’t go out, don’t give care about parties, and that there’s a good chance I’m out of the country where I get charged per incoming text.

I put “bragging and jealous” as one category because I know the reason why she always name drops and brags is because she’s always jealous of what other people are doing. Jealousy is the worst quality you can have, because all it leads to is negative thoughts, feelings, and actions. That being said, I had to block her number just so she couldn’t loop me into a group text (that I can’t “opt out” of because there’s always one person without an iPhone).

5. The unsupportive type

Traveling requires a lot of courage, effort, and risk-taking. It involves a lot of people doubting you, questioning you, and hoping to see you fail. That sort of behavior is understandable coming from a random person who is pissed that they aren’t traveling too, but when it comes from a friend, it just plain sucks.

From, “Well how are you even going to afford that?” to “Well when are you going to get like, a real job?” I’ve heard so many hurtful and unsupportive things from friends that really made me question if they were even friends at all.

6. The type that is always “busy”

Although I’m out of the country a lot, there’s not many times when I’m home that I’ll turn down making plans with a friend, even if I already have existing plans that I’d need to work around. When I’m home, I make a huge effort to see my friends as much as possible since I know I don’t have long in town, which is why it’s annoying AF when certain friends always seem to be “too busy.”

I understand work, I understand being locked down in a relationship (well, not really), but I don’t understand how I am capable of flexing my schedule around to always make plans, and some people just always have an excuse…like they “need to do laundry”, or they “have a dinner.”

That’s nice. I have a flight to another country and won’t be back for a month, but maybe you won’t be so busy when I get back. I usually don’t even bother making plans with people who are always “busy”; traveling has made me learn that I should spend my time wisely, and with friends who actually care about spending time with me.

7. The type that has a time limit

I won’t deny that people have a shitty ass attention span these days, but it almost seems like with certain people, if you’re gone for too long, they just completely forget you exist. These are usually the “party” friends, the ones who only hit you up when they want to go out or get an invite to an event.

If you aren’t there to be their wingman or help them out, they’ll find someone who is and forget you exist. Since I travel for weeks at a time, it’s VERY easy to see who these types of friends are.

8. The convenient type

Despite where I am in the world, I will always respond to a friend in need, or do what I can to help them. But unfortunately, what I’ve come to realize is that when there’s something I need, some friends always seem to disappear or be unavailable.

Traveling made me into a person who will always help someone else no matter how inconvenient it is for me, but it also made it very easy to see the friends who only do things when it’s convenient for them. And those people are just not convenient to have in my life anymore.

9. The untrustworthy type

If you can’t trust a friend, then clearly they’re not really your friend. I always fail at this because I’m a sucker who tries to always have faith in people, but there are definitely a few people who have screwed me over one too many times.

I actually had a “friend” who got so irritated by an in-depth travel conversation I was having with a random guy at a bar that she told him I’d “never be interested in him if he couldn’t afford to take me traveling” when I got up to go to the bathroom. Unfortunately her shallow assumption of his salary, and blatant display of awful friendship, just led him to call her out in front of me. That was fun.

10. The all-around toxic type

Any friend, acquaintance, or colleague that adds more stress to your life than happiness is a toxic person who you probably should run far away from. I experience a lot of stress from traveling, so to be around someone who is constantly negative just isn’t worth having in my life.

Friends should add to your life, just like traveling does, and if they aren’t, then they are only going to take away from it, and seriously, you don’t have any precious time to waste.

Discover Matador