40+ People We Wish Were Running for President

Politicians who should run for president

1. Elizabeth Warren: Harvard law professor, policy advocate, expert in American bankruptcy.
2. Ralph Nader: Political activist, attorney, former Green Party candidate.
3. Hillary Clinton: Senator, former First Lady, almost-but-not-quite Democratic nominee in 2008.
4. Bill Clinton: Saxophonist, ladies man, philosopher.
5. Jennifer Granholm: 47th governor of Michigan, member of Obama’s economic advisory team, former University Studios tour guide.
6. Alan Grayson: Former US representative for Florida, president of IDT Corporation, gerontology expert.
7. Gavin Newsom: Lieutenant governor of California, former mayor of San Francisco, left-handed pitcher.
8. Elliot Spitzer: Former governor of New York, former Attorney General, pays good money for his hookers.*
9. (*Bill Hader’s SNL impression of Elliot Spitzer would possibly be a better candidate.)
10. A robot programmed to look out for the best interests of the largest segment of modern Western civilization, the middle class. This robot will be exempt from all corruption, bribery, re-election status, and thirst for power… but being around a bunch of men, who knows. It may develop a power hungry soul after a while.

Actors, comedians, and TV personalities who should run for president

1. Dwayne Johnson: Wrestler, guest star on Star Trek: Voyager, Tooth Fairy.
2. Jon Stewart: Daily Show host, Satirist-in-Chief, genius.
3. Stephen Colbert: Colbert Report host, Dungeons and Dragons fan, potential candidate for the President of the United States of South Carolina.
4. Rick Mercer: Canadian comedian, blogger, political satirist.
5. Tina Fey: The only thing that made watching McCain’s 2008 campaign bearable.
6. Amy Poehler: Star of Parks and Recreation, former SNL Weekend Update anchor, Planned Parenthood supporter.
7. Samuel L. Jackson: Future star of “Snakes on Air Force One.”
8. Anthony Bourdain: Chef, Travel Channel host, believes vegetarianism is a “First World luxury.”
9. Ellen Degeneres: Talk show host, American Idol judge, Saints fan.
10. Morgan Freeman: Voice of God, seemingly portrays a president in every three movies he makes.
11. Matt Damon: Philanthropist, screenwriter, World Series of Poker competitor.

Musicians who should run for president

1. Bruce Springsteen: Already the Boss.
2. Michael Franti: Poet, composer, vegan.
3. Ozomatli: US State Department Cultural Ambassadors, the real melting pot.
4. Angélique Kidjo: Grammy-winning singer-songwriter, UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, founder of The Batonga Foundation.

Activists, athletes, and other professionals who should run for president

1. Maya Angelou: Poet, Pulitzer Prize nominated author, holder of over thirty honorary degrees.
2. Bill Gates: Co-founder of Microsoft, philanthropist, fairly wealthy dude.
3. David Suzuki: Science broadcaster, environmental activist, host of The Nature of Things.
4. Oprah: Star of the 1989 miniseries The Women of Brewster Place.
5. Ric Flair: Professional wrestler, “the dirtiest player in the game,” CEO of a short-lived financial business.
6. Bill Bryson: Author of books on travel, science, and the English language, former Chancellor of Durham University.
7. Lisa Ling: Journalist, co-host on The View, former special correspondent on The Oprah Winfrey Show.
8. The Dalai Lama: May be required to release his birth certificate.
9. Tony Dungy: NFL player and coach, sports commentator for NBC, first African-American head coach to win the Super Bowl.

Characters who should run for president

1. Spock: Science officer, Vulcan, man of logic.
2. Lisa Simpson: Buddhist, environmental and animal rights activist, jazz artist.
3. Dwayne Elizando Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho: Will be elected five hundred years from now.
4. Apollo Creed: Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World, Master of Disaster, King of Sting.
5. Elliott Stabler: NYPD detective, specialist in hand-to-hand combat, Queens resident.
6. Sue Sylvester: Cheerleading coach, fighter, winner.
7. Jack Donaghy: Vice President of East Coast Television and Microwave Oven Programming for General Electric, former classmate of Michelle Obama, skilled flutist.
8. Sherlock Holmes: Consulting detective, violinist, bohemian.
9. Don Draper: Partner at Sterling Cooper, Korean War vet, chain smoker.
10. Matt Santos: US President from Texas who won in a close election that was actually fair.
11. Professor X: The world’s most powerful mutant mind, named one of Business Week’s top ten most intelligent fictional characters in American comics.
12. The Doctor: Time Lord, wielder of the sonic screwdriver, has a heart to spare.