“I can’t leave this chair,” I point to the chair, “…until I write a review of these pants.” I point to the pants.
“Are they good pants?” he asks.
“Yeah,” but…that’s just it, what I am supposed to say? I have worn them 87% of the time for the last 3 weeks solid. I am living in these pants, they are the one solid garment in my world right now, the axis of my travel wardrobe.
Just say that, then, and hurry, we are getting beers and watching Flamenco in a few hours. Ivo leaves. I crank my iTunes and look at my pants a little shocked. They actually look cleaner than they did when I first received them. I have put in considerable effort to mar these pants to no avail…
Shit I have done to try and break these pants like sadistic captor expelling information on enemy movements.
~ 18 miles on the elliptical at the gym
~ 4 jogging routes that favored mud puddles and mushy trails
~ fireside yoga poses (a flame lit proud warrior makes a man feel limber and primal)
~ rock hopping up Patagonia talus slopes
~ rode horseback up a mountain in Cordoba province
~ bombed my mountain bike down Seattle’s steepest hills
~ sinks full of gnarly dishes
~ mountaintop glacier frolicking
~ hiked 11 miles on the Rio Azul
~ rode 40+ hours on cross country Argentinean buses
~ I have spilled coffee, ice cream, melted mozzarella, empanada filling and beer on these pants
~ I have fallen on my ass, farted loudly, danced, slept and woken up in these pants
And still, after hand washing them in the grubby hostel shower and hanging them out to dry, they look brand new, nary a scuff or stain. They are stretchy and tough and flexy and light.
Ivo, my new friend who studies aeronautical fuel systems in Buenos Aires, pokes his head through the door again and asks if I have started my review. Yeah, I say I am just getting to the part where I talk about how much I like the pockets.
I like the pockets.
I won’t pretend to know what the genius who designed these pants had in mind for their intended use, but the pockets reflect a deep respect for freedom of movement that suggests break dancing and karate jump kicking.
Even with a cell phone and set of keys in the front pockets, I can jog comfortably. While traveling these past few weeks, my pockets have been the happy home of the junk I need close at hand. In my pocket right now: 12 pesos, wallet, set of earplugs, sunglasses, old bus ticket, map of Esquel with directions to a good parrilla scribbled in blue ink.
The fabric is some kind of indestructible substance. I could read the label, but I would rather assume they are made from a blend of NASA space suit material and the finest Imperial silk.
You could take these pants off and throw rocks at them, it would be silly but it could be fun and it certainly wouldn’t hurt them in the least. You could call them names, names you wouldn’t want your mother to hear, and not offend these pants.
Look, I didn’t plan on these pants kicking so much ass. I thought that by now, I would be able to report that they have ripped or blown out at the crotch. I thought I would be standing over them, a tattered heap of charcoal gray. But I am showing far more wear and tear from my 3 weeks on the road than the garment in question.
I am scratched, bruised and have ketchup and dirt under my fingernails. The pants just winked at me and asked if I am ready for more.
More prAna Gear Reviews
Check out BETA Editor-in-chief David Page field-testing the prAna Tanner LS Shirt for Men.
Read Associate Editor Michelle Schusterman’s prAna Monarch Convertible Pants for Women review.
Want to win some prAna pants? How about $500 worth of prAna gear? Check out the prAna and BETA “Get Some” Sweepstakes for your chance to win!
prAna (which is an ancient Sanskrit word for breath, life and vitality of the spirit) started 17 years ago making clothing for climbing, yoga, and other passions.
From award-winning Matador Network, BETA Magazine is the essential new print magazine for the modern world-savvy explorer
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