Thou shalt not drink Starbucks.

We all know their coffee tastes burnt. Go to Caffe Ladro, Victrola, Bauhaus – the list goes on, so there’s really no reason to go to Starbucks. Ever.

Thou shalt only drink local beers.

Seattle has way too many good microbreweries in the area to be wasting your time on – shudder – Bud Light. If you see Pike Brewing or Manny’s on tap, you better be ordering that.

Thou shalt not go to the Space Needle.

Or Ride the Ducks or go to Pike Place Market. Skip the crowds and go to the Ballard Farmer’s Market or hang out at Golden Gardens instead.

Thou shalt bring your own bags to the store.

We love recycling here, and wouldn’t want to waste anything – including plastic bags. Bring your cloth bags to PCC next time you pick up.

Thou shalt not cross the bridge.

As far as us Seattleites are concerned, the east side is a completely different world. You wouldn’t be caught dead in Bellevue.

Thou shalt keep how beautiful Seattle is a secret.

We’re sick of Amazon and Microsoft bringing in hundreds of new people every year. Keep your mouth quiet about how much you love the city to keep people away.

Thou shalt wear blue on Fridays.

And really the whole weekend. We’re proud of our Seahawks and want everyone to know it.

Thou shalt only eat burgers from Dick’s.

They’re cheap, tasty, and quick. Plus local legends Sir Mix-A-Lot and Macklemore both filmed music videos there.

Thou shalt not use an umbrella.

#1 way to look like a tourist. Your Northface rain jacket will provide all the protection you need.

Thou shalt spend every happy hour in the summer outdoors.

With so many bars popping up around Seattle with rooftop lounges or tables right next to the water, there’s never a reason to sit indoors. Eastlake Bar and Grill or Ray’s Boathouse is where you want to spend those summer days basking in the sun by the water.