1. A transplant only goes to the beach in the summer.
A local knows that it’s going to heat up to about 80 degrees in November and the Gulf Shores is still a valid option, well into December.
2. The locals know that any hurricane under a category two is just a rainstorm and a day off from work.
Hurricanes scare transplants. Locals know you need a little fuel for the generator and something to do if the power goes out. Bonus: if the eye of the storm is directly overhead, be prepared to go outside while it’s calm and comment about how it’s one hell of a storm.
3. A transplant takes casual southern phrasing a little too literally.
“Up the road a ways” and “bring me a couple” mean entirely different things to the locals than our northern neighbors. If anyone brings exactly two of anything, that’s going to be met with some hard looks.
4. A transplant buys food at the local game.
A local knows that half the experience is the tailgating party before kickoff. Why buy food when you can bring the kegs and the grill right to the parking lot?
5. A transplant wonders why there are so many churches and how many are actually full.
A local knows that all those churches are pretty full on a Sunday morning, and Easter Sunday can come down to standing room only.
6. A transplant thinks that fall is all about the leaves changing colors.
A local knows that you’ll want to have completed your gun maintenance and any relevant shopping before hunting season starts.
7. A local will buy the heaviest winter coat in the store.
A transplant wonders why everyone is wearing heavy jackets in 45 degree weather.
8. A transplant thinks it can’t get any hotter.
A local knows, no matter what the temperature, it definitely can (and probably will).
9. A transplant thinks that Mason jars are just for jams and jellies.
A local knows that they’re great drinking glasses, especially for iced tea.
10. A transplant hits up dollar stores and bargain retailers for their knick-knacks.
A local is up on Saturday and out before dawn to snipe the best deals at the yard sale. When everything’s a dollar, you just can’t be wrong.
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