10 differences between a local and a transplant in Alabama

1. A transplant only goes to the beach in the summer.

A local knows that it’s going to heat up to about 80 degrees in November and the Gulf Shores is still a valid option, well into December.

2. The locals know that any hurricane under a category two is just a rainstorm and a day off from work.

Hurricanes scare transplants. Locals know you need a little fuel for the generator and something to do if the power goes out. Bonus: if the eye of the storm is directly overhead, be prepared to go outside while it’s calm and comment about how it’s one hell of a storm.

3. A transplant takes casual southern phrasing a little too literally.

“Up the road a ways” and “bring me a couple” mean entirely different things to the locals than our northern neighbors. If anyone brings exactly two of anything, that’s going to be met with some hard looks.

4. A transplant buys food at the local game.

A local knows that half the experience is the tailgating party before kickoff. Why buy food when you can bring the kegs and the grill right to the parking lot?

5. A transplant wonders why there are so many churches and how many are actually full.

A local knows that all those churches are pretty full on a Sunday morning, and Easter Sunday can come down to standing room only.

6. A transplant thinks that fall is all about the leaves changing colors.

A local knows that you’ll want to have completed your gun maintenance and any relevant shopping before hunting season starts.

7. A local will buy the heaviest winter coat in the store.

A transplant wonders why everyone is wearing heavy jackets in 45 degree weather.

8. A transplant thinks it can’t get any hotter.

A local knows, no matter what the temperature, it definitely can (and probably will).

9. A transplant thinks that Mason jars are just for jams and jellies.

A local knows that they’re great drinking glasses, especially for iced tea.

10. A transplant hits up dollar stores and bargain retailers for their knick-knacks.

A local is up on Saturday and out before dawn to snipe the best deals at the yard sale. When everything’s a dollar, you just can’t be wrong.