10 signs you’ve been in Nepal too long
1. You drink your Khukri Rum with warm water.
And wonder why you get a dirty look when you try to do the same back home with top-shelf liquor.
2. You forget that receiving mail is a thing that really happens.
In fact, you don’t even know your address. Unless ‘down the alley besides Soma Café’ counts, which is what you tell the Foodmandu delivery guy.
3. A shopping spree means buying four new pairs of leggings.
In different colours, from Bhat Bateni. Glamorous and practical!
4. You make a trip south of the border to India and immediately feel like a country cousin.
The lights! Even after dark! The plentiful hot water! The fashion! The multiple varieties of dal!
5. The phrase ‘river-front location’ actually makes you gag.
You shudder in horror and reflexively hold your breath when reading real-estate ads from other countries that use this as a selling point. Then you remember that the Bagmati doesn’t really deserve the title of ‘river,’ and that riverside promenades should be quite nice.
6. You plan your weekly hair wash around the power schedule and the weather forecast.
Because you don’t want to be left pouring cold water on your head and then shivering with no way to dry your cold, wet head.
7. You step out into traffic without flinching.
And only check to see that a full-size bus isn’t hurtling toward you.
8. You’ve forgotten what a bus schedule might be.
That’s something that exists in some places? You’re not sure where the Lalitpur Yatayat would post a schedule anyway, even if it had one.
9. A late night out means dancing in Thamel, then stumbling into bed at 11pm.
It’s hard when your friends back home don’t even get their parties started till after 10. And you can’t even console yourself the next day with the fact that you got an early night, because those Kathmandu hangovers are brutal.
10. You superimpose the outline of mountains onto your memories of every other city you’ve lived in.
And glance in panic at the flat horizon when you go back home for a visit.