1. “Go chip yourself.” (Vai se lascar)
We say “Vai se lascar” when we can’t say “Vai se foder” (Go fuck yourself).
2. “‘I’m whore/male whore.” (To puto/puta)
This is the ultimate stage of anger. And it makes no sense to literally translate it, but it’s funny anyways. Puto and Puta are obviously women and men who sell their bodies for money, this part is true. But “to puto/puta” has nothing to do with the exchange of sex for money — it’s just the same word, but with a totally difference of meaning.
3. “I’m fried.” (Estou frito)
When a Brazilian is ‘fried’ there’s no chance in hell they’re going to get away with whatever it is they’re trying to do.
4. “I’m fucked and badly paid.” (To fodido e mal pago)
I think it’s pretty clear what this one means, right? When everything you worked for, all your efforts, all your time, stress and much more just went down the drain.
5. “It is to fuck the paçoca.” (É de foder a paçoca)
This basically means “more fucked than ever” and we all have our own way of saying it. We usually say “É de foder…” and then add whatever we want. I like to use “the paçoca” because it’s my favourite thing to say when everything is screwed beyond the point of repair and there’s nothing left to do but complain.
6. “Take mine and swing it.” (Pega na minha e balança)
Pega na minha e balança is a funny, yet efficient, way to tell people to grab your cock and jerk you off. And you can even say it if you’re a girl, nobody really cares. (Like a bad Christmas present, it’s the thought that counts.)
7. “Dick.” (Caralho)
This is the equivalent of ‘cazzo‘ in Italian. And it’s the same as when English-speakers refer to a sex act whenever something bad happens. We do it too, but we usually shout out the name of genitals instead.
8. “Cum.” (Porra)
And yeah, we also like to add bodily fluids to the pot too. Nothing expresses discontent better than porra.
9. “Dropping the ass’ asshole” (De cair o cu da bunda)
When something is so absurd that you can’t believe that it is even happening, it’s de cair o cu da bunda. We use it when there’s a bad situation but we’ll also use it just to point it out how unique and unbelievable something is.
10. “I’m gonna crack your face.” (Vou te partir a cara)
This is what you say when you want to fight someone. It’s very explicit. When we say, “Vou te partir a cara,” everyone knows what we mean.
11. And of course, “Go fuck yourself.” (Vai se foder)
This is the NSFW version. The meaning of Vai se foder is about as international as you can get. In just one sentence, it expresses all the anger, frustration that you can say in all the languages in the world.