1. We never actually “pahk the cah in Hahvad yahd.”
And we hate people asking us to say it. We don’t pronounce our Rs — so what?
2. Red Sox Opening Day is a state holiday.
Or at least it should be. Almost everyone tries to get to Opening Day in Boston. People call in sick from work or school and even if you didn’t get tickets to the game, it’s still a party at the bars or restaurants on Yawkey Way.
3. Our sports teams are the greatest on the planet.
You may think your teams are better, but they’re not. Ask anyone in town. We are die hard Boston/New England fans and don’t ever tell us our teams stink. It will start a brawl or a long-winded discussion about why we are the best. And best to never even mention the Yankees, or else.
4. The word “wicked” is not what you think it means.
Some use the term ‘wicked’ for something bad or evil like the ‘wicked witch.’ But us Massholes like to use it in every sentence to coincide with cool or awesome or just by itself. It’s also commonly used in the sentence “that’s wicked pissah” which also means “that’s wicked cool.”
5. It’s not a liquor store.
It’s called the package store or more often referred to as ‘the packie.’ So if anyone asks you to stop at the packie, you now know where to go.
6. Chowder and clam cakes are what’s up!
Hands down, in whatever weather, hot or cold, it’s the best meal evah! After a long day at the beach, many stands sell a cup of chowder (pronounced chowdah) and clam cakes. It’s a staple.
7. You can’t go one summer without having a Del’s Lemonade.
It’s not just lemonade, it’s a slush. Every summer kids wait for the ice cream truck to get a slush in either cherry or the original lemonade accompanied by a pretzel rod. I don’t know why, but a pretzel in slush just works. And for adults, Narragansett brewery made a Del’s Shandy.
8. Lizzie Borden took an axe…
She gave her mother 40 whacks. When she saw what she had done she gave her father 41. This was an old nursery rhyme based on a true murder in Fall River in the 1800s. It made Fall River famous before the Aaron Hernandez trial.
9. Plymouth Rock is not as big as you would think.
There’s a lot of historical sites in Massachusetts, one being Plymouth Rock where the first settlers landed. The rock is not big at all, but when they first landed it was the only landmark they saw on shore, and so it was called Plymouth Rock. Another site is Plymouth Plantation where you can visit how the settlers lived.
10. It’s not Wor-chest-ter, it’s Woo-ster.
We have a lot of towns that are not pronounced how they are spelled.
11. Salem is not just about witches.
There’s not just witch museums in Salem. There’s also pirate museums and houses that were once part of the Underground Railroad – you’ll actually find that there are many houses like that here.
12. We couldn’t be more proud.
No matter where you are from in Mass — whether from the Berkshires, the Cape, Western Mass, or Boston itself — you just don’t mess with Massachusetts.