Photo: Eric May

Missouri

Sure, the Civil War ended a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean that Kansas has to like Missouri.

There’s nothing to do

Us Kansas like to complain all the time that there’s nothing to do, even if there is. It’s something like having 400 channels on TV and saying that there’s nothing on. And then everyone wonders why people from other states think there’s nothing to do in Kansas.

Rain

Either it’s raining too much, which is bad for crops, or it hasn’t rained enough, which is bad for crops. Even those of us who have never had anything to do with farming relate the amount of rain to crops. It seems there’s never a perfect amount of rain everyone’s happy with.

Someone who’s too big for their britches

This is Kansan for “someone who thinks they’re all that, but they’re not.” It seems like everyone in Kansas knows someone like this, is not impressed by this person, and has something to say about it.

College basketball

The big rivalry in the state is between KU and K-State. However, Kansans will generally complain about their own team more than the other one, unless there’s some miracle season where the team is undefeated, that is. Every time the team could have performed better, you’ll hear about it for weeks.

Bugs on the windshield

During the summer months, every bug alive in Kansas has some type of death wish and aims directly for the driver’s side windshield of any car on the highway. And it’s a real pain to clean them off..

Driving through Western Kansas

Thanks, Western Kansas, for giving everyone the idea that Kansas is a fly-over state. But, really, anyone from Kansas taking a road trip to Colorado is not too thrilled about the drive, unless they can’t get enough of looking at nothing but flat fields for a few hours.

Being single or being married

Honestly, if you live in Kansas long enough, you won’t be sure which is worse. People have a million problems with both.

Humidity

Let’s just say in Kansas you never whine about your air conditioner, unless it’s not working.

Family

Family is important to a Kansan, and us Kansans just love our families. But that’s not to say everything’s a bowl of cherries all the time. There’s always something going on with someone in the family. Whether it’s some cousin that’s getting another divorce, some sibling that’s always in between jobs, some relative that’s always borrowing things, or some ex of someone you only see at the family reunion that’s doing something or another, you’re going to hear about it.

The government

Us Kansans are patriotic as can be, but, seriously, if the government is doing anything, whatever it is, someone’s not happy about it. And that’s all they want to talk about.

Everything’s closed on Christmas

Generally, this isn’t a problem. But if you forgot something at the store on Christmas Eve, you’re out of luck and will have to do without. Just hope it’s not something important, like toilet paper.

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