Photo: Sean Pavone/Shutterstock

14 Signs You Were Born and Raised in West Palm Beach, FL

by Joe Batruny Jun 5, 2014
1. You’ve eaten a Cuban sandwich from Havana’s walk-up window at 3am.

Havana’s famed Cuban sandwiches, tostones, and papas rellenas were a welcome sight after a night out in downtown Lake Worth. You probably weren’t sober either, which made the food taste much, much better.

2. You’ve been on a field trip to Kennedy Space Center.

And if you were one of the lucky ones, you went on a field trip to SeaWorld (I know, we don’t talk about that place anymore) or Universal Studios. A St. Augustine field trip was never out of the question, either. No matter where, the bus ride was always half the fun.

3. You’ve been stuck in “bridge traffic” thanks to all three of Palm Beach’s bridges.

And you know they have important-sounding names: The Flagler Memorial Bridge, the Royal Park Bridge, and the Southern Boulevard Bridge.You call them the “north bridge,” “middle bridge,” and “south bridge” anyway.

4. You’ve been told to avoid Tamarind Avenue by everyone and their mother.

And you’ve heard multiple accounts of robberies and crime in the area back in the day — but somehow, you still managed to end up on Tamarind at some point before freaking out and finding your way off the street.

5. You’ll fight to the death regarding Publix’s superiority over any other supermarket on Earth.

Not to mention the subs. I’ll have an Ultimate. Boar’s Head please. (Why did you even ask me?) And everyone knows you have to order the chicken tender sub at least once. You said “toss it in buffalo sauce please” if you were smart.

6. You’ve willingly gone or been dragged to at least one BUZZ 103.1’s Buzz Bake Sale.

You may have gotten stuck in a whirlwind of people swinging elbows and fists by accident at some point near the Coral Sky, er, Mars Music, er, Sound Advice, er, oh, the Cruzan Amphitheater. And you definitely needed about 4 showers after the event.

7. You’ve get chills up your spine on seeing license plates from the Northeast.

And suddenly, driving on I-95 got a lot slower. Malls got more crowded. The average age of West Palm Beach rose about 25 years. You always breathed a sigh of relief once you heard “the snowbirds are going back up.”

8. You know several people who own lifted pickup trucks.

And the only time you’ve seen these rather expensive pickup trucks get muddy is when they’re dragged out to the St. Lucie Mud Jam or the Okeechobee Mud Fest. You’re still not exactly sure what the point is, either.

9. You’ve spent a day at Sunfest in the rain.

But then the sun came back out quickly, thanks to Florida’s “it’s going to rain between 3 and 5pm everyday” weather policy. A great time was always had by everyone, thanks to the ever-improving music and floating party barges.

10. You’ve seen the Palm Tran bus, but don’t know more than 5 people who’ve taken it.

You know where some of the stops are. You’ve seen people getting on the bus (likely, none of whom you know). You’ve noticed the Palm Tran Connection drive by all the time. Yet you still have no idea where the bus can take you.

11. You’ve wanted to shower again on walking from your front door to your car in the summer.

Thanks to the hot, humid, 100-degree weather, your simple walk from your front door to your car felt more like a sweltering walk through the Peruvian jungle. Post-walk, you’ve definitely hopped in your car, turned it on, cranked the AC, and gotten back out, standing next to the car, door open, until it cooled down.

12. You’ve returned from a trip anywhere north of Orlando with love bugs plastered all over your car.

When love-bug season arrives, you know better than to open your windows while driving up the Florida Turnpike, I-95, or I-75. On your return home, you were given ten different answers from ten different people when you asked how to remove them from your car’s bumper and windshield.

13. You know the streets of downtown West Palm Beach are in alphabetical order.

And you tell everyone who doesn’t know: Banyan, Clematis, Datura, Evernia, Fern, Gardenia, Hibiscus, Iris…. Okay. So it ends there. So what? At least you knew which street was next when you were trying to give someone directions!

14. At least half of your graduating class attended FSU, UF, UCF, or UM.

The majority of the remaining ones attended FAMU, FGCU, USF, FAU, or FIU. For those not paying attention, those schools are all in Florida. It pretty much seems like no one wants to leave the state, right?

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