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16 Signs You're Back Home in Columbus, Ohio

by Tim Andrews Oct 2, 2016

Columbus, Ohio is an exciting city to live in, particularly for young adults. But it hasn’t always been this way. For those of us who have lived here for awhile or have gone elsewhere only to return, we know that Columbus only gets better with time. But even time can’t rid our hometown of its charm and endless dedication to capturing ‘The Heart of It All’ mentality.

Here are 16 signs you’re back home in Columbus, Ohio:

1. You can’t get away from the Scarlet and Gray.

We all have to admit Ohio State football is the heartbeat of our lovely city. Fall social schedules are defined by games and Columbus is littered with Ohio State apparel. Admit it — you’ve secretly hoped for a successful Ohio State season simply so you can veg out on food prepared by someone else for one more night while everyone else is glued to the TV. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.

2. You miss public transportation.

If you’ve spent any time away from Columbus, particularly in a big city, you can understand the joys of public transportation. While Columbus does provide buses, their reach is… lacking. Once again, you have to drive everywhere.

3. Starbucks isn’t your first choice anymore.

Every time I return to Ohio, it seems like the coffee shop options are continually increasing. Fox in the Snow, Roosevelt, Mission, Stauf’s, and the list goes on. You can finally brush Starbucks off as you make your way toward a Guatemalan pour-over at your favorite family-owned shop.

4. You’ll probably run into a Presidential hopeful.

… especially if you’re back during election season. Potential White House inhabitants know our value. They love to leave their mark on Columbus.

5. Orange barrels are a surefire sign you’re approaching downtown.

Autumn, winter, construction, more construction, repeat. But it wouldn’t really feel homey without all the neon orange and traffic delays, now would it?

6. T.B.D.B.I.T.L.

No explanation needed. Script OHIO, commence.

7. Jeni’s ice cream is calling your name.

Finally, I can say I want gravel with my ice cream and no one will freak out.

8. Gay is more than okay.

While Ohio generally may be a bit conservative, Columbus is as gay friendly as it gets. A massive Pride festival, gay bars, and plenty of singles ready to tickle your fancy. And you know what I mean by fancy… get your mind out of the gutter.

9. O-H!!

You know what to do.

10. Twenty One Pilots is a big deal.

You love ’em or you hate ’em. But regardless, you recognize at least three of their songs. Even if you’re not a huge fan, you have to admit it’s pretty cool they hail from Columbus.

11. You forgot how much you missed the charm of the random brick roads.

After getting over the literal bumps in the road, you enjoy that familiar sound of the tires racing over each brick. They make our big city seem just a bit homier.

12. You actually want to go to the zoo.

Finally, a zoo that everyone wants to go to. Jack Hanna is a boss and our world-class zoo proves that. And I bet you know exactly why the Columbus Zoo is the perfect spot for a date in the winter.

13. Gold & blue mean something to you.

You fear for someone’s life if they’re caught wearing these colors on game day.

14. Your lexicon must be commensurate with those in your propinquity.

Columbus is insanely smart. It’s time to talk good again.

15. Saying Columbus takes too much time and effort.

C-bus, people.

16. You finally don’t have to explain that Columbus is indeed the capital of Ohio.

“No, it’s not Cleveland… No, it’s not Cincinnati either… Yes, Columbus is the capital. No, I promise you, it is. Yes, even though we don’t have a professional football team…”

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