1. You don’t own any white clothes.

Because pindan soil is more difficult to remove from your clothes than blood.

2. Sharks? No worries.

While the rest of Australia worries about sharks, you’ve never given them a second thought. In The Kimberley, the Saltwater Crocodile rules supreme. Should you find yourself in a death roll with one of these bad boys, there’s no chance you’re living to sell your story to “60
Minutes.”

3. You know who the Pigrim Brothers are.

When you’re away and you’re missing Broome, no music sounds sweeter

4. You’ve been the victim of, or have contributed to, a ‘Broomer.’

Like a nasty outback version of Chinese whispers, rumours in Broome take on a whole new level.

5. You will never travel to the other side of The Kimberley.

Kunna-where-a? You follow the @thekimberleyaustralia Instagram and are genuinely surprised at all of the cool places in your home region. It’s more likely that you’ll travel over 2,000km to Perth than to the other side of the Kimberley.

6. Looking at the underbelly of a plane from the cinema is normal.

Despite an ongoing plan to move Broome’s airport, it still sits smack bang in the middle of Broome, right near the open-air cinema. One minute you’re chilling in your deckchair, nek minit the film is inaudible over the roaring jet engines overhead.

7. You dread the annual invasion of Grey Nomads.

When that caravan convoy arrives, the traffic jams begin. To clarify, 10 cars is a traffic jam in Broome.

8. A camel train on a nude beach is nothing out of the ordinary.

Every afternoon at sunset dozens of tourists venture north of the rocks to participate in Broome’s most iconic activity — riding a camel down the beach. The nudist beach. For some reason you’ve accepted this as normal.

9. You own 10 pairs of thongs.

You have a pair of thongs for every occasion and your only enclosed shoes are runners. Got a wedding coming up? No worries, they’re probably getting hitched on the beach anyway.

10. Cyclones are actually fun (especially if you’re a surfer).

Tropical cyclones are no joke, they can be very destructive. But now that you’ve survived a few, you’ve become complacent. While folks are worriedly phoning you from other parts Australia, you’re raiding the garage for your water sports gear — bodyboards, kayaks, surfboards. When floodwaters rise and the swell picks up, the fun begins.

11. You wear a jumper if it’s below 26 degrees Celsius.

Tourists think that Broome is warm year-round. Locals know better. It’s time to rug up.

12. You move at a different pace than the rest of the nation.

When your body clock is set to Broome time, arriving ‘early’ to an event means you are only a few minutes late.

13. Perth is your destination of choice.

If you ever leave Broome it’s because you’re going to Perth.

14. You check the tide before throwing your towel on the sand.

With one of the world’s largest tidal ranges, you’ve seen many tourists lose their towels to a rapidly rising tide. As a general rule, Daryl’s beach hut umbrellas indicate the high tide mark.

15. You judge a good car park by shade, not by distance to destination.

On a stinking hot day in Broome the shady spot at the far end of the car park beats parking right next to the store entrance.

16. Whaddayow!

“Whaddayow,” “jowidge,” “proper deadly,” “ack bra” — you communicate in a language that only Broome mob can understand.

17. Nothing tastes sweeter than salty plum.

You relish the flavour of salty plums almost as much as you relish the facial expressions of someone tasting them for the first time.

18. You know not to return from Perth empty-handed.

Back in the school days, you wouldn’t dream of getting off the plane without KFC in your hands. It didn’t matter how old or cold it is, returning to school with that bucket of chicken made you the most popular kid in class.

19. You’ve been Sammy’s legs.

You, or someone you know, has been the legs of Sammy the Dragon. Few events symbolise Broome’s spirit and culture better than Shinju Matsuri. To be one of Sammy’s legs is a similar honour to carrying the Olympic flame.

20. You’ve midnight munched at Buckwan.

After a big night at Oasis, you know that there’s only one cure for the midnight munchies … Buckwan. At this time of night, there are few sights more beautiful than a van full of greasy food. Unless you spot a kid with a bucket of KFC.

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