21 Signs You’ve Been in India Too Long
1. If your spoon doesn’t stand by itself in your chai, you need more sugar.
2. You’ve perfected the Indian head wobble in a way that you can even confuse shop owners. Wait, do you want to buy that now or not? *Wobble wobble*
3. City names like Thiruvananthapuram roll easily off your tongue.
4. It’s completely normal for you that at least 5 people are involved in every buying process. One to move it to the next one, one to scan the price, one to take your money, one to give you the bag and one to hand you the receipt.
5. Letting your hair fly while sticking your head out of the train’s open door in Mumbai is your daily dose of freedom.
6. Nothing can intimidate your stomach anymore. Not even the Burmese noodles prepared literally by hand by a cook in a dirty, greasy thorn undershirt, his huge belly hanging over his belt enjoying the fresh air. What is this crunchy stuff? Ah…never mind.
7. The probability of you getting seriously injured by a coconut falling on your head has increased significantly.
8. You have developed an unreasonably strong faith in not being killed while crossing the street. Or sitting in a rickshaw. Or participating in traffic in any way.
9. After millions of coconut trees you are yearning for a proper conifer forest.
10. You know the address of all Bollywood celebrities in Mumbai by heart. And if the rickshaw driver wants to take you in unnecessary circles on the way to Shahrukh Khan’s house, you see right through it.
11. You understand Bollywood movies in cinemas without even speaking a word Hindi.
12. The cacophony of engines and horns on the streets has turned into a beautiful symphony reflecting the rhythm of Indian life.
13. Kurti, sari, lehengas. You don’t only know what it is, you also own at least one of each.
14. Just 32° C today? Better get a jacket, you might get cold.
15. Nobody needs to translate the menu anymore. Mutter masala, butter masala, you know exactly what you’ll get.
16. Slowly but surely a deep friendship with the bum gun is blossoming, especially while suffering from smaller or also more intense digestive problems.
17. You always keep an extra melon or a few bananas, just in case the neighborhood temple elephant knocks on the door for a hungry morning visit.
18. You understand that chaos is the only way the world was meant to function.
19. A bus passing by 2cm next to you is everyday life and not a near death experience anymore.
20. What once seemed an impossible task, is now a piece of cake. You could probably even eat soup with your fingers.
21. You’ve irrevocably lost a piece of yourself in this country which slowly but relentlessly snuck into your heart.