I RECENTLY TURNED 25. I’m one-quarter of a century, in my mid-20s, halfway to 50. I celebrated in a swimming pool with some friends and then attended a KISS concert, but forgot to bring an umbrella. I was forced to huddle under a sweater for shelter while mascara streamed down my cheeks.
25. Not as glamorous as I thought.
A few days ago, I stumbled across this 25 Things to Do Before You’re 25 article by College Candy, featuring some semi-ridiculous advice…most of which I’ve done. So how about the reverse advice? What can my friends and I offer you in terms of things you shouldn’t do? Here are 25 things we learned along the way to pseudo-adulthood.
1. Don’t get a hair perm. It looks good for only a day.
2. Don’t sleep with your roommate. Just because you live together doesn’t mean you should see each other naked.
3. Don’t attend a Cat Stevens concert sober. Self explanatory.
4. Don’t rely on student loans for your entire university career. Stop partying so much and get a freaking part-time job.
5. Don’t put off travel plans for a significant other. If someone is keeping you back, you will almost always break up in the future anyway.
6. If a guy shows you how the camera on his shelf can be aimed directly at his bed, don’t have sex with him in that bed.
7. Don’t study something you have no interest in. Sometimes it’s okay to be an arts student.
8. Conversely, don’t give up something you love doing just because a teacher said your work was terrible. I haven’t touched a paintbrush or canvas since my first year of university.
9. Don’t get black-out drunk with your coworkers. You’ll say things you regret.
10. Don’t sleep with the drummer of a famous band. He will accuse you of giving him a genital rash and you will avoid him with extreme paranoia.
11. Don’t date someone half your age. There’s more than one reason, but that’s for another article.
12. Don’t let your parents talk you out of doing stuff. Wisdom comes with age, but so does frayed nerves.
13. Don’t avoid chocolate because you think it’s fatty. Pleasures are derived from chocolate that are unfound anywhere else.
14. Don’t turn down a camping trip for a night out at a club. Few activities rival a good fire, a starry sky and roasted marshmallows.
15. Don’t yell at customers in your store/business or embarrass them. They’ll blog about it.
16. Don’t backpack solo if you don’t want to. You’ll still be considered a traveller if you don’t.
17. Don’t walk barefoot through the streets on a rainy evening. Somehow, you will catch a stomach bug.
18. Don’t turn up your nose at beers. Did you know there are flavourful beers out there, not just domestic?
19. Don’t forget to make your bed. If there’s one chore you should do in the morning, it’s that one.
20. Don’t try to date your hot foreign co-worker. His French accent is misleading in a charming way, and he will spin tales about kangaroos which you will naively believe.
21. Don’t eat the space cakes in Amsterdam. You will throw up in the Anne Frank house.
22. Don’t be afraid to drive. Whether it’s a car or a four-wheeler or a jet ski, liberty comes with mobility.
23. Don’t stop wearing colours you were told look horrid on you. Turns out redheads can wear orange, and I’ve been lied to my whole life.
24. Don’t turn down a luxurious resort vacation. Amazing memories are made when you’re lying stress-free on a beach with some great friends and endless pina coladas.
25. Finally, don’t actually take these advice articles too seriously (or life, for that matter).