Photo: Izuddin Helmi

1. Your hands have the superpower to stop incoming traffic.

Just face palm the drivers and they will automatically stop.

2. You speak Malay, but can’t understand the same slang from different states.

Penang: Saya lapar gila.
Sarawak: Kamek lapar ilak
Terengganu: Kebulur weh tobak laa.

3. 7pm is Hong Kong/Korea drama time no matter you what race you are.

When you were little, the plot of Hong Kong and Taiwan dramas is what you would discuss in school. Nowadays, Korean drama rules.

4. You call your waiter “Leng Zai” or “Boss” but you will never leave a tip.

You just call them that because you think it will grab their attention more. Giving the “Leng Zais” and “Boss” a shot of “confidence boost” is more important then tipping, right?

5. You use at least 3 languages in one single sentence.

Dei, please tolong me tapao lunch ok?

6. You are crazy about McDonald’s.

Queueing up in front of McDonalds before sunrise is never a problem as long as you get your Minion/ Hello Kitty toys.

7. You support your country’s badminton team.

You have doubts about anyone who doesn’t know who Lee Chong Wei is. And when he wins, the first thing you ask is “So, tomorrow got holidays?”

8. You double park like a boss.

Sometimes to show people you are a responsible person, you leave your cell phone number on your windshield.

9. When you were a kid, you seldom sought comfort when you ran and fell.

Because you heard this from your parents: “Who tell you to run? Run lah! Run some more!”

10. You think gossiping with friends at a Mamak stall is way more fun then clubbing.

You go so often you don’t even request a menu anymore.

11. You love to ask stupid, obvious questions.

You find yourself asking “You eating ah?” as someone is obviously putting food into their mouth.

12. You have the ability to make practically anything go viral online.

Your neighbor’s family issue, an overpriced cake in your local market or you caught a doctor sleeping? If you want it to go viral, just snap a photo, type a few words and upload. It WILL go viral.

13. When you go abroad for a long time, more then half your luggage is packed with food.

Dried chilli, ikan bills and keropok. Sometimes, you add in Maggie.

14. You enjoy political jokes.

You enjoy memes about Malaysian politicians, which you talk about with your friends over a Mamak session.

15. Yellow on the traffic lights means drive faster.

Wait, that’s not what that means?

16. You point using your thumb.

And consider it rude to point to things using your index finger.

17. You always plan your meals ahead.

You’re already discussing what to eat for dinner before lunch is served.

18. You use “Lah” “Meh” “Leh” “Loh” “ah” at the end of every sentence.

You discussing a school project:
“Don’t do like this lah!”
“Can not Meh?”
“I’m not good in this leh! You do loh! I follow.”

19. You speak English, but most tourists can’t understand you.

Okay, fine. So maybe it’s more Manglish than English…

20. You drink Milo more than coffee.

Milo everyday, for breakfast and supper.

21. You love the word “free.”

After you purchase something, you always ask “Got free gift ah?”

22. You look forward to the release of a Petronas Advertisement.

The only thing you love more than food during the festive season is crying over a touching Petronas Advertisement.

23. You say “Bojio” way too often.

However, If people “Jio” you, would you go?

24. You are always “on the way.”

When people call to ask where are you, you reply “on the way” even if you are actually sitting in the bath tub.

25. You call everyone “Aunty,” “Uncle,” “Sis” and “Bro.”

I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family.

26. Camera before eating.

You don’t drink your latte before taking photos from every possible angle. And when you are done, you take a selfie, you upload, and only then can you begin drinking.

27. You’ve accidentally memorized at least one phrase of the “Azan.”

Either there’s a mosque near your house or you left the television switched on at TV1.

28. You flood your rice with gravy.

You tell the Abang you want it “Banjir”. He will flood your meal with kuah.

29. No breakfast is too heavy.

Nasi lemak with extra sambal at 7 in the morning is perfectly fine to your stomach.

30. You say “lol” in your daily conversation.

You don’t spell the letters. You say it as if it is a word.

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