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30 Things You'll Never Hear Someone From Memphis Say

Memphis Humor
by Karla Redditte May 10, 2016

1. I hardly see anyone with a gold tooth anymore.

2. Road construction on I-240 is complete.

3. “Old bridge” and “new bridge” are too confusing. Let’s call them by their official names: the Memphis-Arkansas and the Hernando de Soto.

4. Mom, may I go to Crystal Palace?

5. It’s just one inch of snow.

6. What is “crunk?”

7. Jack Pirtle’s chicken needs just a little more salt.

8. Ruby Wilson singing blues music? Not a good match at all.

9. John Calipari is welcome here anytime.

10. Willie Herenton was such a bashful mayor. I wish he’d come out of his shell and speak up a little more.

11. Want to head to Southbrook Mall? I hear it is on and poppin’!

12. There isn’t a Kroger in my neighborhood.

13. Justin Timberlake? What an embarrassment.

14. Yes! I’ve been to Graceland many times!

15. If the speed limit is 55, then that’s the speed I’m doing.

16. Hold the coleslaw on my barbecue sandwich. That’s gross!

17. I didn’t hear a single Blues song today.

18. Where’s Beale Street? </h2.

19. I’ll pass on that extra ticket to the Grizzlies’ game.

20. No, I don’t know anyone who works at FedEx.

21. Three 6 Mafia? Who?

22. Memphis and Nashville are practically the same.

23. This city moves at such a fast pace. It’s hard to keep up.

24. I spent the night at the Peabody, just needed some “me” time.

25. I don’t drink tap water.

26. “Fixin’ to” is improper English.

27. I don’t care what high school you attended. It doesn’t matter.

28. Libertyland? Doesn’t stir up any memories.

29. I’m looking to join a church, and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of choices around here.

30. This sweet tea is sweet enough. Please, no more sugar.

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