35 things you’ll never hear a New Zealander say

1. Rat’s tails went out in the 80s.

2. Sweet as what, for god’s sake?

3. Put another shrimp on the barbie.

4. We’ve forgiven you, France.

5. I’d like to travel, but I don’t fancy those 12-hour-plus flights to get anywhere beyond Australia.

6. I think the flag referendum was a good idea.

7. Russell Crowe’s a Kiwi.

8. There’s too much meat in my pie.

9. I thought I’d celebrate my 21st with a quiet drink.

10. The road was smooth and well-maintained.

11. She won’t be right. Not this time.

12. There was the hint of a beautiful breeze across Wellington today.

13. Raining out? Better grab my brolly.

14. Otago Uni students are a studious bunch.

15. I wouldn’t dream of going barefoot.

16. John Key’s a real smart guy.

17. It’s not the right time of day for a cuppa.

18. I feel so underdressed.

19. Petrol’s really cheap at the moment.

20. Palmerston North is underrated.

21. Shortland Street is a high-quality, well-acted drama about real-life problems.

22. Auckland’s a pretty typical, down-to-earth Kiwi town.

23. This summer I’m heading overseas to find some good beaches.

24. I’m not really into outdoorsy stuff.

25. 15 is way too young to get your driver’s license.

26. Whangarei CBD has some great architecture. It’s just such a shame they got rid of Danger Danger.

27. There’s too much rugby on the news.

28. New Zealand, Switzerland, Finland… you’re right, they’re pretty much the same place.

29. Australia deserved to win.

30. Rotovegas smelt good today.

31. No, I don’t know anyone who works for Fonterra.

32. I don’t think it’s appropriate to wear gumboots in here.

33. There aren’t enough roundabouts in Whakatane.

34. Yes, you’re right, it is strange having Christmas in the summer.

35. Why would I want to go to Australia? There are so many great job opportunities right here at home.