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39 Things You'll Never Hear Someone From Fargo Say

by Alicia Underlee Nelson Nov 27, 2015

1. “Lefse? What’s that?”

2. “It’s 20 below. I think I’ll stay inside until it warms up.”

3. “A flood? Does that kind of thing happen here?”

4. “I love driving down Broadway at 2am. Those late-night bar patrons are such quiet, responsible pedestrians.”

5. “I totally thought that Fargo movie was a documentary.”

6. “Getting a cab after 10pm is a breeze.”

7. “People are so assertive when they change lanes on I-94. They just signal and go with no ambiguity whatsoever.”

8. “Canadians shop here? Weird. I’ve never seen a Manitoba plate in the West Acres parking lot at Christmas time.”

9. “I wonder when that beard trend is gonna catch on here.”

10. “Would it kill them to build something new south of 32nd Avenue? Every time I drive down south it always looks exactly the same — no new businesses, apartment complexes or entirely new neighborhoods — nothing.”

11. “Of all the seasons, road construction is my favorite.”

12. “Summer nights are meant for catching up on work. We’ll have time for the lake, outdoor concerts, and drinks on the patio later.”

13. “It’s only a few blocks. I’ll just walk.”

14. “There’s a dress code and a cover charge? Ooh, then it must be awesome. I’m totally going to go stand in line now.”

15. “Chippers are chocolate-covered potato chips? I don’t get the appeal.”

16. “Grab a drink? Nah, this isn’t really a drinking town.”

17. “The Fargo Marathon is such a boring little event. I wish they’d add more parties or live music or something to make it more interesting for the spectators.”

18. “I’ve never met anybody who has driven a tractor.”

19. “It’s okay that people think Fargo is in South Dakota. I mean, North Dakota and South Dakota are basically the same.”

20. “Why would I care about UND Hockey? They play all the way up in Grand Forks!”

21. “Do it myself? Oh no, I’d much rather pay someone to do a simple task for me.”

22. “Craft beer? Do people make that here?”

23. “There’s a concert at the Fargodome? Awesome. I just love it when the out-of-town crowd backs up traffic and gets totally lost.”

24. “I’ve never touched a sandbag.” </h2.

25. “I’m so accustomed to heavy traffic that waiting more than two minutes makes me feel calm and happy.”

26. “You have to work so hard to find local art in this city. It’s not like there’s public art in plain sight or anything.”

27. “My pickup is always the only one in the lot.”

28. “I’ve never been late because I got snowed in.”

29. “NDSU football is so boring. They never win championships and you can hear a pin drop in the Fargodome when the Bison are on defense. And it’s not like half the state shows up for tailgating or anything.”

30. “I’ve never left work early to get to the lake. That would just be irresponsible.”

31. “I think I’ll just get rid of my car, since the bus takes me wherever I want to go.”

32. “You know what downtown needs? More local shops and restaurants.”

33. “The traffic is always awful. My commute always takes hours.”

34. “I guess I’ll just keep paying outrageous rent. I’d have to save up forever to buy a house, anyway.”

35. “I’d never wait in line for Sandy’s Doughnuts. I’m sure gas station donuts taste just like the handmade kind.”

36. “Geez, would it kill us to have a park or two in this town? I just want to find some green space or a bike trail or something.”

37. “Boy, there aren’t nearly enough restaurants in this town.”

38. “I don’t get the appeal of owning a snowblower. It’s not like we get that much snow here.”

39. “My favorite part of going downtown is waiting for the trains. And getting stuck behind both trains on Broadway? Double bonus!”

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