1. Being offended.

We love to whine when someone gets offended, but we never want to admit that we are offended. We’ll tell you to stop being so sensitive, and then we’ll huff and puff when someone takes up two parking spaces. Hey, we never said we were perfect.

2. Malfunction Junction.

When I drive southbound on I-65 in Birmingham, and veer left to get onto 20/59, I’ve got four seconds to cross four lanes of interstate traffic to get to 31 before I pass it. Who designed this? I want to speak to the manager.

3. College football teams that aren’t a part of the SEC.

No, I don’t care about Oregon. Notre Dame is weak, too. GO HOME!

4. Mosquitos.

These little demons have radar. We cover up completely when we work outside, and we run in from the car so we don’t get bitten. Guess what though, we still do! They swarm to us the second we step outdoors. It’s not fair, not in the least.

5. Waiting in line.

Seriously, who has time for this? Where did all of these people come from? How much longer?

6. Parking in the back of a parking lot and walking.

Oh, Lord, if I have to park that far away, I might as well just turn around and go home. I’ll just circle a few more times to see if a spot opens up closer.

7. Alabama Weather.

Who’s in charge here? It was freezing yesterday, and today is “unseasonably warm.” We’re expecting tornadoes next week, and then it’s cold again. We literally have to check the weather every single morning before work – how else are we supposed to pick out our outfits? We also don’t have very harsh winters, so below 40 degrees is just unacceptable. If I’m shivering, I’m complaining, guaranteed.

8. The Government.

Not just the federal government, but also the state and local. It doesn’t really matter who’s in office, we just don’t do well with authority at all.

9. Humidity.

It’s real cute when our Northern friends complain about humidity. Bless ‘em. I’ve gone through a whole can of hairspray this week – good thing I like my hair big.

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