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How to Be a Social Media Douchebag

by Candice Walsh Feb 1, 2010
Social media can either make you popular or ruin your reputation. Here’s how to guarantee you won’t get a date to the hypothetical prom.

Social media tools like Facebook and Twitter can be a great way to connect with awesome people while marketing your own writing, blog or business. If you do it right, you can form strong bonds with others and share your work with a wide audience.

However, if you do it wrong, you’ll alienate people and your reputation will suffer.

Are you guilty of social media douchebaggery? If you’ve done three or more of the following, the answer is “yes.”

Discuss What You Had For Breakfast –
Writing about the mundane parts of your day is an annoyance. This rule applies to constant updates on your baby, the hot shower you just had, and the colour of your poop.

Update Under the Influence – Sappy song lyrics and quotes of wisdom often find their way into someone’s Twitter feed or Facebook status update when they’re under the influence. Close the laptop and just back away.

Ignore Anyone Who Attempts Conversation – I’ll never understand why some people follow me on Twitter and then do not reply when I try to connect. Thanks jerks, glad to know I’m just a way to boost your audience.

Think You’re Internet Famous “If you have to preface the word with ‘Internet’, you’re no celebrity.” There is nothing more obnoxious than a condescending douchebag who doesn’t want to give you the time of day because you’re a newbie and therefore not worthy of attention.

Brag About Your Fitness –
If you spend five hours a day at the gym and then come home to update your status about it, you’re probably a douchebag who walks around the gym flexing your muscles more than actually working out.

Self-Promo All the Time – You know you’re awesome, but keep it to yourself. Sharing your work with your followers is fine, just make sure you share links from other people also. It’s like having good table manners.

Be a Spammer – You’re not going to miss out on anything big if you shut down your social media programs for awhile. Let people miss you.

Share Your Heartbreak — Stop whining to the world, clean up your act, and get back out into the game. This refers to all other types of “over-sharing” as well, i.e. job woes, self-image issues, and your busy life.

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