1. Your dog gets offered a bowl of water at a cafe or restaurant before the waiter even thinks of taking your order.
2. Your “házi” lemonade somehow costs the same as a beer.
3. You find yourself constantly wondering who the hell is Széchenyi and why everything is named after him.
4. The smell you most associate with the city is that of a slightly damp ruin pub.
5. You’re either preparing for or coming off Sziget.
6. A tourist just stopped you to ask where Szimpla is.
7. Going to the Buda Hills is pretty much like visiting the countryside.
9. Your life revolves around the 4/6 tram line and if something is outside of the Grand Boulevard, it’s almost too far away to imagine.
10. You’re overwhelmed by the variety of architectural styles. Art Nouveau? Tick. Gothic and Neo-Gothic? Tick. Renaissance? Tick. Baroque? Tick. Classicism and Neo-Classicism? Tick. Romantic? Tick. Socialist-era style? Tick. The place even has Roman ruins and Turkish baths, for God’s sake.
11. You walk out of Fogas Ház at 4am and you see more kebab shops than people.
12. You wake up with a roaring hangover, check the damage you’ve done and realize you’ve spent a record low amount of money on Dreher.
13. You can get a two-course lunch for 990 forints, but a three-course lunch is only 1090 forints.
14. All the tourists talk about is thermal baths, underground cave networks and how the Jewish District is home to Europe’s biggest synagogue.
15. Every building in the city has a plaque on the front saying that this or that famous poet or painter lived there.
16. There’s always a dog barking its head off next to you while you’re trying to enjoy your espresso.
17. It’s not just 19-year-olds wearing daisy prints and tattoo chokers. Everyone under the age of 45 is still rocking the 90s style.