Photo: Diana Grytsku/Shutterstock

Mini-Guide to French Slang

by Morgane Croissant Oct 31, 2015

1. A French house is not “messy”…it’s a “brothel” (Quel bordel!).


2. The French are not “wealthy”…they are “full of wheat” (Être plein de blé).


3. The French don’t call you a “loser”…they call you a “badger” (Quel blaireau!).


4. The French don’t ask you “What the hell are you doing?”…they ask “What are you wanking?” (Qu’est-ce que tu branles?).


5. The French are not “drunk”…they’re “stuffed” (Être bourré).


6. A French person doesn’t “drink like a fish”…they “drink like a hole” or “like a sponge” (Boire comme un trou / une éponge).


7. The French don’t own “a rusty, old car”…they own “a heap of mud” (Un tas de boue).


8. The French don’t “ride shotgun”…they ride “in the dead man’s seat” (La place du mort).


9. The French don’t “burst their balls”…they “pierce their own ass” (Se crever le cul).


10. The French don’t say “it’s expensive”…they say “it costs as much as the skin on my ass” (Ça coûte la peau du cul).


11. In French, something is not “obvious”…it “punctures your eyes” (Ça crève les yeux).


12. A French person does not toast and say “bottoms up!”…they say “dry ass!” (Cul sec!).


13. A French woman is not “busty”…she has “a crowd on the balcony” (Il y a du monde au balcon).


14. The French are not simply “bored”…they are “bored like dead rats” (S’ennuyer comme un rat mort).


15. The French are not “naïve”…they have “shit in their eyes” (Avoir de la merde dans les yeux).


16. A French person is not “crazy”…they are “stamped” (Être timbré).


17. The French don’t have an “asshole”…they have a “bullet hole” (Trou de balle).


18. The French don’t “annoy someone”…they “cover them in shit” (Emmerder quelqu’un).


19. The French are not “fed up”…they “have it up to their ass” (En avoir ras le cul).


20. The French are not “brown nosers”…they are “boot lickers”. (Être un lèche-bottes).

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