How To Piss Off Someone From Miami
Assume we don’t speak English.
Living in Miami is like living in a different country. The Cuban Adjustment Act of 1966 has allowed refugees to stay in the USA. But just because more than half of our population is Hispanic, doesn’t mean we are incapable of speaking English. Are most of our signs and menus in Spanish? Yes. Do we prefer it that way? Of course!
The bottom line is, you have now set foot on Miami soil, so when you automatically assume we don’t speak English, rest assured you are an asshole.
And your overplayed attempt at speaking Spanish — by tacking an ‘o’ on to the the end of every English word — is so ridiculous it’s amusing to play along. When we say “I don’t speak English.” Or “I don’t understand,” in a bitchy tone — we are making fun of you. If you still haven’t picked up on the sarcasm, you’re a lost cause.
Spanglish, on the other hand, is our primary language. Don’t be a pendejo and learn a couple of phrases, it’ll keep you from getting a chingadaso.