I’m looking for a “real” job in London. No bartending. No English-speaking tour guiding or sitting at a hostel desk in exchange for room and board. I’d actually like someone to hire me on merit — not just because I look cute behind a bar.

Not only is the London job market cutthroat right now, I’m applying for work in an extremely competitive field. By competitive, I mean a bunch of clueless Oxford and Cambridge graduates with no idea what they want to do with their lives are applying for the same internships as me — a Canadian with a two-year visa that screams “I probably won’t stay here, don’t waste your money training me!” A month later, I haven’t had one interview. I’m still trawling through online ads and attending networking events so I don’t have to use my last $500 to buy myself a one-way ticket back to my mom’s house.

You might be in my situation. You may have just returned home from a RTW trip. If you’re looking for a job, surely you’ll recognize at least a few of these.

You’ve just arrived and see all the places hiring…

…so you send out resumes like this…

But you keep getting HR emails that read like…

Then you realize being capable of speaking English doesn’t make you automatically employable anymore…

…so you call a recruitment agency, and they’re all, “We’re in this together…”

But they don’t call you back for two weeks, so you spend a few days like…

Then the recruiter calls you back for an interview with one of their clients and you’re like…

…so you go from looking like this…

…to looking like…

The interviewer asks what you did during that 2-year gap on your resume, and you’re like…

You tell her “cultural immersion,” but it really means some of this…

…occasionally this…

…but mostly this…

After the interview, she says “We’ll call you” and you know it’s…

Your friend tells you not to worry because his brother looked for work for 6 months before he found something…

Group interviews be like…

…and all you want is someone to…

Once you figure out someone at a networking event is hiring, you’re like…

…but they’re all…

So you start to wonder why you gave up this…

…and this…

…for this…

But don’t worry. When you get down, just remember this: