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28 Signs You Learned to Drink in Savannah

Savannah Student Work
by Shannon Dell Mar 4, 2015

1. You’ve been too drunk to go inside the McDonald’s on Broughton Street but just drunk enough to order from the walk-up window.
2. You understand that ‘last call’ means you should order two drinks to go.
3. You’ve mastered the art of drinking yourself sober on St. Patrick’s Day, but the hangover you endure the following morning is one for the books.
4. You’ve waited in the unruly line at Sweet Melissa’s for a sopping wet, greasy slice of herb crusted pizza at 3 in the morning.
5. When partying out of town, you’re genuinely confused and slightly insulted when the bars close at 2.
6. Walking on uneven cobblestone streets while wasted has become your second nature.
7. Breakfast tastes better when it’s a mixture of Jameson, butterscotch schnapps, and orange juice.

8. One of your pedicab friends has peddled your drunk ass to the bar on the next corner of Congress Street free of charge.
9. You know more than one person who has gotten a BUI (biking under the influence.)
10. You’ve gotten a BUI.
11. The back wait station at your restaurant job always has a supply of whiskey stashed away somewhere.
12. You love the sting of a Scorpion Tea from Hang Fire.
13. You’ve shared a 40 with a total stranger you found sitting on your front porch.
14. You feel a historic connection with George Washington by getting obliterated from a Chatham Artillery Punch.
15. There is literally no occasion or time of day that doesn’t warrant a drink.
16. Irish Car Bombs are your daily vitamin.
17. Drinking in 18th-century refurbished bars gives the term “dive bar” a whole new meaning.
18. You’ve had to pick Spanish moss out of your drink.
19. You’ve had to pick gnats out of your drink.
20. You’ve been reunited with everyone you just said goodbye to downtown at Parker’s Gourmet Market while waiting for a styrofoam to-go box of fried chicken biscuits slathered in gravy, in hopes of stopping the spins.
21. Your mornings are often spent finding a remedy for the “Savannah Flu.”
22. Calling a cab doesn’t mean going home if you’re at Wet Willies.
23. You’ve woken up in the square filmed in Forest Gump.
24. You’ve enjoyed a cocktail while watching a drag show starring the Lady Chablis.
25. You’ve gotten hammered on a Tuesday at the Jinx for Hip Hop Night.
26. You’ve been scolded on the dangers of masturbation by a sloppy Catholic guy outside Kevin Barry’s Irish Pub.
27. You hate pickles but you chase your whiskey with pickle juice at O’Connell’s Pub.
28. You’re not Irish, but you’ve learned to drink like you are.

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