1. You spent a ton of time and even more money on a really good fake ID.
You’ve been carded more times than you’ve hit traffic on 93. In your younger years, you hunted down similar-looking older friends and tried to buy their licenses, and there was always some tech-savvy person printing out what they claimed to be top-notch IDs for $50.
If you were thinking you could charm your way into the bar, you quickly learned to think again. My 26-year old friend got banned for life from White Horse because they didn’t accept her out-of-state Louisiana ID (she has the most absurdly thick Cajun accent I’ve ever heard), so she started screaming crazy redneck stuff at the bouncer and got the boot.
This heading could also be “You spent a lot of time drinking in your friend’s basement.”