1. Americans need something to complain about.
If the United States decriminalized prostitution, brothels would be regulated and protected safe havens for both workers and clients.
Workers would have access to healthcare, birth control, and disease screening.
Law enforcement would be working to protect workers and clients, instead of working to incriminate them.
Both parties would be safer, with a lesser risk of getting beaten up, raped, kidnapped, or even murdered.
Prostitution would begin to be an integrated part of American society, culture, and tourism.
But where would all of that leave the pearl-clutching, finger-pointing, silently head-shaking citizens of the world? What would they have left to bring up in their Twilight book club next week?