Panama City, Florida
After Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt encouraged students to “do something with your college education and help out those less fortunate,” they adopted their 14th child from Central America. This sent a wave of trendy trustafarians on Alternative Spring Break quests to “save the world” and thus re-routed their plans from Panama City, Florida, to the legit capital of Panama.
Their volunteer experiences never went beyond recycling their empty beer bottles and boosting the local economy through domestic drug sales, but as one really white guy with dreadlocks said, “You get out of the world what you put into it, man.” Panama City, Florida, never recovered from its lack of binge-drinking tourism, slowly transmogrifying into a pile of sand and used condoms.