Photo: Jonathan Kos-Read

1. Egg waffles have become your daily snack.

The day you try your first gai daan jai your life is forever changed. Whenever feeling wild though, you indulge in the chocolate chip ones.

2. You’ve spent enough money on rent to purchase a small country.

Because you feel lucky here if you can afford a tiny little box to live in – just because the city comes with fabulous views.

3. You take naps in public — as long as there is air con.

And you know that there is no place like McDonald’s for your afternoon nap after a busy day at the office. Ok let’s be fair, you might as well spend the night at the McDonald’s closest to your office – as it’s probably more comfortable than your apartment.

4. Your morning oatmeal has turned into congee.

Before Hong Kong, you would spice up your morning porridge with fresh fruit, but now a piece of pork meat or a rotten egg will do just fine. And it’s delicious.

5. You’ve got an embarrassing drunk story from LKF.

Free drinks for ladies! Really? Like, really? The excitement has gotten the better of most of us at least once. The nights here never end and myself, well, I have a tattoo to tell the story.

6. Your morning run is through skyscrapers, sandy beaches and mountains — because here you just have it all.

Hong Kong’s best-kept secret is, that it actually has some of the world’s most magnificent beaches and mountains — Hung Shing Yeh on Lamma Island, Big Wave Bay, Stanley Mountains, Dragon’s Back, and the obvious Victoria Peak — this city is so much more than a concrete jungle.

7. You’ve learnt to carry a winter jacket and gloves with you. Because it’s colder sitting in the bus than in a bucket of penguin shit.

Yeah sure we all love the air con when the humidity goes up to free afro hairstyle for everyone, but there is no need to get below zero on public transportation.

8. You depend on escalators to take you wherever you need to go.

Escalators are everywhere — and when I say everywhere, I mean it, and you know it. The world’s longest escalator just happens to be in — guess where? Hong Kong (dah)!

9. You’ve started avoiding Mong Kok on Saturdays.

You may have by now mastered the skill of using your elbows to get through crowds and have probably also lost the need for personal space, but you still know, that Mong Kok is no place to go wander on a Saturday.

10. You’ve started spelling Welcome as “Wellcome.”

The supermarkets here are f*cking up our English skills. What’s the deal with that?

11. Life has become about nothing but shopping and eating.

To feel happy and complete, all you need is a few credit cards and a good dim sum meal. At least, I am perfectly happy with just that.

12. You’re afraid to leave.

You had no idea that you would feel right at home in the heart of Asia. But you got used to this life and you will never be ready to leave it — because there is simply nowhere like it. Leaving Hong Kong will break your heart.

View 1 comment