19 reasons you should never visit Boston
1. You heard small cities are pretty dead.
2. You’re on a low-carb diet.
3. Walking tires you out.
4. You’d rather drink on an empty stomach.
5. The water’s way too dirty.
6. You know all cities are concrete jungles.
7. Everyone knows Southie’s sketchy.
8. Who wants to check out a giant globe from the inside? Weird.
9. Libraries are the worst.
10. You like your seafood frozen and imported.
11. You’re more of a wine person.
12. The ocean freaks you out.
13. Brownstones are just a little too quaint.
14. You heard the Big Dig is taking forever to finish.
15. Baseball games? Boring.
16. You don’t like snow days.
17. You’re worried about breaking a heel.
18. Yellow and orange are your least favorite colors.
19. The best university in the country doesn’t impress you.
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