1. Dance cueca in public.
Chile’s national dance, cueca, consists of a series of stomps, sashays, and twirled handkerchiefs, all supposedly re-creating a cock’s conquest of a hen. Locals have the remarkable ability to make this dance not only look elegant but outright sexy (see cueca brava). However, no matter how much effort you put into its mastery, you — dear foreigner — will only ever succeed in looking like a toddler engaged in a stamping fit, lassoing a napkin over his head Indiana Jones-style.