1. A normal friend will invite you to a BBQ and serve you some burgers or sausages.
A Brazilian friend will invite you to what a BBQ should be: a churrasco. Where you can eat all the rodizio you can stomach for just 5 or 10 euros — picanha, coração de galinha, alcatra, linguiça, all served on ‘swords.’
2. A normal friend will add you on one or two social medias, like Facebook and Instagram.
A Brazilian friend will ask you why you’re not on every single social media available — what is your Twitter handle? Where’s your blog? What’s your StumbleUpon?
3. A normal friend will call you by your actual name.
A Brazilian friend will give you a nickname instantly based on what makes you unique. And every Brazilian you’ll meet will have a nickname and a real name and you’ll have to memorize both. Every Brazilian knows a ‘Cabelo‘ or is a ‘Cabelo‘ themselves.
4. A normal friend takes a few weeks or months before inviting you to his home.
A Brazilian friend won’t waste much time, he’s already got that feeling about you, and he’ll invite you for lasagna or pizza or the good ol’ arroz com feijão with his family within just 5 minutes of meeting you.
5. A normal friend will say they will be somewhere at 9 and then be there at 9.
A Brazilian friend will say they’ll be there at 9 but not show up until around 10, and they’ll think it’s weird if anyone was there at 8:59.
6. A normal friend will talk with you at a normal, quiet volume.
A Brazilian friend will talk loud, be happy, convince you that this is the only way to live life, and ask you to smile for them.
7. A normal friend will tell you that they’ve traveled all over Brazil.
A Brazilian friend will tell you that he’s seen more cities in the US or in Europe than he has in Brazil.
8. A normal friend will wish you a quick happy birthday on Facebook.
A Brazilian friend will expect a cake, brigadeiros, balinha de coco and beijinhos.
9. A normal friend will tell you to call a plumber or just try plunging your toilet.
A Brazilian friend will invent an amazing gambiarra and your problem will be solved in no time (until it is not).
10. In fact, a normal friend will tell you to call a professional whenever you have a problem.
But a Brazilian friend LOVES a cool gambiarra, he’ll spend the day searching the internet for an alternative and unimaginable way to fix this or that.
11. A normal friend will say hello for the first time and shake your hand respectfully.
A Brazilian friend will hug you, say hello, and give you 1, 2, or 3 kisses.