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14 Things Your Mexican Girlfriend Will Never Say

by Christian Nader Jul 21, 2015

1. The advice and opinions of my friends don’t affect our relationship. Our problems are precisely that, ours.

2. My mom wants to stay with us for a few days. I know it bothers you. I will tell her to stay at a motel.

3. Your jealousy made me realize I must get rid of all my male friends. Don’t worry darling, I’m going to end my relationships with my childhood buddies, my cousins, and even my brother.

4. I love when you take me pics just when I wake up or when I’ve got a hangover and later you post them on Instagram.

5. No one forces you to go to my dad’s birthday, I know you can’t stand it. Let’s stay at home and watch TV!

6. We’re going late to the party? It doesn’t matter, we’re right on time, because today I will not wear makeup!

7. Our apartment looks beautiful and cozy with your underwear over the dining table! I will put my panties in the living room to create the perfect combination.

8. My mother’s stews taste horrible, I like your mom’s better.

9. You didn’t flush the toilet again! I already did it. It’s funny how silly you are.

10. Your belly has grown. I suppose you stopped doing exercise. It’s so cute! Comfortable as a pillow. Please, let it grow even more.

11. Don’t worry sweetie! Everybody forgets their anniversary now and then.

12. It’s 2 in the evening and you’re still in bed. You must be extremely tired. Sleep a little more, when you wake up I will have a delicious sandwich and glass of milk for you.

13. I know that when I say I’ll be ready “within 10 minutes” I took two hours. It won’t happen again.

14. Excuse me for throwing away your old football jersey, I thought it was an old stinky rag.

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